Hello!!! Greetings from London.
So this is the short account of what has been happening to me so far.
The Packing
Was crazy. I packed the whole day of Tuesday and I didn't sleep at all!! Had to go to the airport at 6.30 am.
The Airport
was kinda packed. We miraculously saw a friend who was on the same flight with us.
The Flight
I have to give credit to Mr. Idris Jala. He totally gave MAS a facelift. The air-hostesses were really friendly and efficient. They gave a free-flow of drinks and the food was just glorious. It was really really good. A combination of Western and Malaysian food to keep the Malaysian image. And they don't serve cheap beer, they give Tiger and Heineken!!! How cool is that?? Of course I had my Heineken. =D Wanted to try Tiger but the number of hours for the flight just isn't enough. I have lost count of the number of orange juice I had. Oh, the wine is simply splendid. One sip and you'll have a whole blast of wine in your mouth. Good wine, good wine.
The movies in the plane was quite disappointing. But I don't care, because the drinks were good!! And the food too!! Love the salad. Oh, and I didn't sleep in the plane as well. Heh. Too many things to do. The music was Ok only.
The Airport at Heathrow
is really small. It's as long as the Sam building block and that's it. And, the people walk really REALLY fast. Stop halfway and they'll scold you or crash unto you. Carrying 38 kg luggage is NOT easy at all.
The Walk Home
was INSANE!!! We took the tube for about 1 hour and got off at King's Cross and we walked ALL THE WAY to Oakley Square. And don't forget, I have an 8 kg backpack on my back and I have to drag a 38 kg luggage and walk in the speed of light. No fun. No fun. And there are A LOT of roads to cross.
You know what's good?? They paint the direction on the road for you to look for traffic. Which is good or else a blur person like me will kena langgar until beyond recognition. Choi choi choi.
The house
is SERIOUSLY crammed. Walk in. Long and high staircase, wall. 2 Doors on that wall, and a small squeezed pathway to the left where there's our room and the 2 bathrooms. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. The hall is the size of the lecturer's table area in our classrooms and next to it is the kitchen which is not any bigger. It is crammed crammed crammed. So, if me and my sis sleep in the hall, we're practically sleeping in the kitchen with all the utensils.
We're currently sleeping on the floor, Korean style. Let's see how long we can take it. Or we'll crash on the sofa/bed downstairs in the cocoon hall. But unfortunately, one of the housemates will bring her friends over. So the house will be like some Dragon Inn, bed and breakfast.
The Area
is full of Goths... and the Goths are TALL. The guys are 6 feet 4 and above and the girls are 5 feet 8 and above. And they love wearing platforms and skinny jeans. The best part is all of them are absolutely gorgeous. My favourites are the girl with bright blue hair and the couple I saw at Sainsbury. The guy was a 6 feet 6 dude with emo fringe and the girlfriend has red hair. Gorgeousness.
The Weather
Feels like Cameron Highlands. Minus the mist and the constant raining. I have to stop sneezing.
9 in the afternoon
It is 9 in the afternoon over here. 9 pm feels like it is still 6 pm. All bright and normal. I got a shock when my sis told me that it's already 9 pm. But we still went out for a walk and saw all the goths. Heh. It doesn't get dark over here until 10.50pm. It's so cool.
Vegetables and Fruits
Their vegetables are really really fresh. The garlic and onions are really crunchy when you cut them. Unlike Malaysia where the garlics and onions will start having fungal growth and it is not that fresh compared to over here. Oh, and their brinjals are really HUGE!!! Everything is huge over here.
I love the cherries, grapes and strawberries over here. Sweet and fresh.
Verbal Rape
I was verbally raped on the streets while we were walking at Camden. This Spanish dude who is shorter than me had the guts to walk up to me and ask "Can I touch your p****?" Sick dude. He's lucky I was walking really fast or I'll shove my fist down his throat!!! And Kuhan said that no one will randomly walk up to me. Ah, poor Kuhan, that dude has just proven you wrong!! But still, that sick guy, if I have a chance I'll drag him to a police or slap him hard on the face. Sick dude.
Anyway, that's so far for now. Will upload pictures soon. Going to the Wimbledons!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Domesticated Goddess who is Not Very Happy
Ok, so for the past 3 days I have been a Cinderella in my own home.
It is not fun I tell you.
Because you do not have a kind-hearted and obliging Cinderella with big dreams, but one Bad-Tempered Debble, The Cinderella; whose temper is practically covered with smoldering cinders.
And Dad, No house is EVER manageable WITHOUT the need of a maid.
My entire 3 days is practically spent in the kitchen, starting the stupid stove which just won't start every now and then, chopping, washing, rinsing, and more washing every day.
Hence, I have boiled 2 pots [and I really mean HUGE POTS] of barley which can last us for... a week?? There are only the 3 of us at home. But no, we have to finish a pot in 2 days.
And I have to rinse, boil, heat, re-heat and put it in some place where the despicably irritating ants cannot reach even if they can swim.
So, I learnt how to boil barley. Which is a good thing but not if you have to do it EVERYDAY. And when you are practically demanded and ordered around like a waitress [and I am unpaid] fetching cups and bowls of barley up and down the house every now and then.
And, I had to cook dinner for 2 days. Cooking isn't bad. But it is the chopping and the cracking of the head on what to cook and the preparation that gets your blood boiling that the vegetables can cook in your hands.
My estimation is kinda bad. My dad said that my serving is American serving; which means a bowl for two. Well, Dad, at least you don't have to start grumbling about how the hawker people cut-short customers in their ingredients.
Mine can fill your stomach's content until it S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-S.
I decided to cook spaghetti on day 1 only to find that both freezers do not have a single drop of spaghetti sauce left. I am left with a 3/4 bottle of Maggi tomato sauce and a 1/3 bottle of Maggi chili sauce. The tom yam paste is as good as finished. Not forgetting that we have ran out of cheese.
And I cracked my own spaghetti sauce out of two Maggi bottles, with lotsa button mushrooms [normal mushrooms have ran out as well], onions, garlics, ginger,some carrot and celery. Oh, and beef too. Nope, there was no green pepper, olive oil, thymes or basil. So, the sauce is not very fragrant unfortunately. Nope, the garlic smell didn't overrule the sauce smell either.
I will say that the sauce is a little too tomato-ey for my liking. But the tomato-loving Dad loved the spaghetti. I think it's probably the awesome spaghetti that I am pro in cooking. Yes, when we cook, my sis cooks the sauce when there is the ready-made spaghetti sauce and I cook the spaghetti [I mean the noodles].
And... ehheh... I managed to make the sauce taste almost like the spaghetti sauce and not like the ketchup bottle sauce. Thanks to the two spoons of kicap [from marinating the beef] and the HUGE pinch of salt that I added.
Oh, and mind I tell you that cincang-ing the beef meat is not at all easy?? I tell you, sometimes, I just feel like picking that slab of meet and smashing it against the window. Oh, and we do not have any butcher's knife. The big one?? Uh uh.
My parents say that we do not have a use for it.
Well, I do now. To chop up that bloody slab of meat!!!
And if I don't cincang that slab of leather, we'll be tearing our poor teeth out of our gums in trying to chew that piece of leather. That cow of a butcher cheated my mom.
Oh, by the way, I had to cincang beef for two days. Because on the 2nd day of cooking adventure, no, the refrigerator was NOT restocked. All I had was a drawer FULL of vegetables and 2 more slabs of beef.
So, the 2nd day, I decided to cook beef noodle. Ok, it ended up as beef noodles. I wanted to just cook the Korean Ramee with lotsa ingredients but it ended up tasting as beef noodles.
Heheh. Because I followed my stomach.
Debble LOVES carrot soup with onions.
And so, Debble cried furiously while chopping the onions and got bored chopping the endless amounts of carrots. Not forgetting the impossible skinning of the ginger.
And I boiled those 3 things!!! Boiled and boiled and boiled until the cute little pot gave two hoots of steam shooting out of its "nostrils" while Debble's own nostrils were flaring while chopping up the remaining vegetables and beef.
And I dumped everything in after that. The Ramen, its ingredients and whatever vegetables I managed to chop up. And voila!! Beef noodles!!! [Me LOVED the soup!!!]
Yes, I am quite pleased with the beef noodles.
Thank God my aunt came to the rescue today by bringing a HUGE pot of fish porridge [which I ended up stomaching most of its contents]. Hence, I am ALLERGIC to fish porridge now. Just finished the last bowl while I am typing this post.
I tell you, my mom is NOT an easy patient at all. Dad was easier. Because all he had to do is gurgle his mouth with salt water and stuff two rolled-up tissues up his nostrils.
Mom on the other hand is complaining of her temperature, the headache, the nausea and the lack of energy to walk.
Haiyorr... gave her all the remedies from the experience that I had not so long ago but she just wouldn't take it. She didn't eat for the whole day during the 1st day and almost nothing as well during the next day. She only drank, ate and vomited barley.
Thank goodness she has stopped vomiting or I'll hang up all cooking utensils and go on a strike.
To all patients out there, you should be VERY THANKFUL that my ambition is not to be a nurse.
Because, I will not only be a spanking nurse, but an ill-tempered spanking nurse who will make dirty old men cry and be forever faithful to their wives while paedophiles will instantly get rehabilitation and beg for mercy. Probably get religious too.
Oh, not missing out the sweeping, the mopping and the laundry to be done.
I practically didn't sit at all for the entire day except when I go to the loo or whatever short time I had for meals.
Yup, what a lucrative way of spending my time after being free from A Levels.
p/s: The above drama has been dramatised with a slab of anger just for laughs. Nope, I wasn't angry but I was only glad to help and that I am not sick as well so that I can take care of my parents. Aww, sweet, but I really have to because we're flying off next Wednesday. Ok, not only because of that but because I love my mommy a lot!!! Well, my mom was really thankful and kept on chanting the phrase "Thank God I gave birth to daughters instead of sons".
Ok, the picture of the 2 meals that I managed to set up.
T
he Spaghetti
The Beef Noodles
It is not fun I tell you.
Because you do not have a kind-hearted and obliging Cinderella with big dreams, but one Bad-Tempered Debble, The Cinderella; whose temper is practically covered with smoldering cinders.
And Dad, No house is EVER manageable WITHOUT the need of a maid.
My entire 3 days is practically spent in the kitchen, starting the stupid stove which just won't start every now and then, chopping, washing, rinsing, and more washing every day.
Hence, I have boiled 2 pots [and I really mean HUGE POTS] of barley which can last us for... a week?? There are only the 3 of us at home. But no, we have to finish a pot in 2 days.
And I have to rinse, boil, heat, re-heat and put it in some place where the despicably irritating ants cannot reach even if they can swim.
So, I learnt how to boil barley. Which is a good thing but not if you have to do it EVERYDAY. And when you are practically demanded and ordered around like a waitress [and I am unpaid] fetching cups and bowls of barley up and down the house every now and then.
And, I had to cook dinner for 2 days. Cooking isn't bad. But it is the chopping and the cracking of the head on what to cook and the preparation that gets your blood boiling that the vegetables can cook in your hands.
My estimation is kinda bad. My dad said that my serving is American serving; which means a bowl for two. Well, Dad, at least you don't have to start grumbling about how the hawker people cut-short customers in their ingredients.
Mine can fill your stomach's content until it S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-S.
I decided to cook spaghetti on day 1 only to find that both freezers do not have a single drop of spaghetti sauce left. I am left with a 3/4 bottle of Maggi tomato sauce and a 1/3 bottle of Maggi chili sauce. The tom yam paste is as good as finished. Not forgetting that we have ran out of cheese.
And I cracked my own spaghetti sauce out of two Maggi bottles, with lotsa button mushrooms [normal mushrooms have ran out as well], onions, garlics, ginger,some carrot and celery. Oh, and beef too. Nope, there was no green pepper, olive oil, thymes or basil. So, the sauce is not very fragrant unfortunately. Nope, the garlic smell didn't overrule the sauce smell either.
I will say that the sauce is a little too tomato-ey for my liking. But the tomato-loving Dad loved the spaghetti. I think it's probably the awesome spaghetti that I am pro in cooking. Yes, when we cook, my sis cooks the sauce when there is the ready-made spaghetti sauce and I cook the spaghetti [I mean the noodles].
And... ehheh... I managed to make the sauce taste almost like the spaghetti sauce and not like the ketchup bottle sauce. Thanks to the two spoons of kicap [from marinating the beef] and the HUGE pinch of salt that I added.
Oh, and mind I tell you that cincang-ing the beef meat is not at all easy?? I tell you, sometimes, I just feel like picking that slab of meet and smashing it against the window. Oh, and we do not have any butcher's knife. The big one?? Uh uh.
My parents say that we do not have a use for it.
Well, I do now. To chop up that bloody slab of meat!!!
And if I don't cincang that slab of leather, we'll be tearing our poor teeth out of our gums in trying to chew that piece of leather. That cow of a butcher cheated my mom.
Oh, by the way, I had to cincang beef for two days. Because on the 2nd day of cooking adventure, no, the refrigerator was NOT restocked. All I had was a drawer FULL of vegetables and 2 more slabs of beef.
So, the 2nd day, I decided to cook beef noodle. Ok, it ended up as beef noodles. I wanted to just cook the Korean Ramee with lotsa ingredients but it ended up tasting as beef noodles.
Heheh. Because I followed my stomach.
Debble LOVES carrot soup with onions.
And so, Debble cried furiously while chopping the onions and got bored chopping the endless amounts of carrots. Not forgetting the impossible skinning of the ginger.
And I boiled those 3 things!!! Boiled and boiled and boiled until the cute little pot gave two hoots of steam shooting out of its "nostrils" while Debble's own nostrils were flaring while chopping up the remaining vegetables and beef.
And I dumped everything in after that. The Ramen, its ingredients and whatever vegetables I managed to chop up. And voila!! Beef noodles!!! [Me LOVED the soup!!!]
Yes, I am quite pleased with the beef noodles.
Thank God my aunt came to the rescue today by bringing a HUGE pot of fish porridge [which I ended up stomaching most of its contents]. Hence, I am ALLERGIC to fish porridge now. Just finished the last bowl while I am typing this post.
I tell you, my mom is NOT an easy patient at all. Dad was easier. Because all he had to do is gurgle his mouth with salt water and stuff two rolled-up tissues up his nostrils.
Mom on the other hand is complaining of her temperature, the headache, the nausea and the lack of energy to walk.
Haiyorr... gave her all the remedies from the experience that I had not so long ago but she just wouldn't take it. She didn't eat for the whole day during the 1st day and almost nothing as well during the next day. She only drank, ate and vomited barley.
Thank goodness she has stopped vomiting or I'll hang up all cooking utensils and go on a strike.
To all patients out there, you should be VERY THANKFUL that my ambition is not to be a nurse.
Because, I will not only be a spanking nurse, but an ill-tempered spanking nurse who will make dirty old men cry and be forever faithful to their wives while paedophiles will instantly get rehabilitation and beg for mercy. Probably get religious too.
Oh, not missing out the sweeping, the mopping and the laundry to be done.
I practically didn't sit at all for the entire day except when I go to the loo or whatever short time I had for meals.
Yup, what a lucrative way of spending my time after being free from A Levels.
p/s: The above drama has been dramatised with a slab of anger just for laughs. Nope, I wasn't angry but I was only glad to help and that I am not sick as well so that I can take care of my parents. Aww, sweet, but I really have to because we're flying off next Wednesday. Ok, not only because of that but because I love my mommy a lot!!! Well, my mom was really thankful and kept on chanting the phrase "Thank God I gave birth to daughters instead of sons".
Ok, the picture of the 2 meals that I managed to set up.
T
he SpaghettiThe Beef Noodles
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Idling is Not My Thing
Truthfully. Sincerely.
I can't accept the fact that I have nothing to do now.
No books to stash in the bag when I go to church or shopping.
When my mom is browsing through the store which I am not interested, I can't simply whip out a book like a magic wand for a nerd like I used to to pass my time.
Instead, I am forced to watch the people who walk by me.
I can't stand having nothing to do.
I think it's just A Levels.
Gave us so much of work to do. Filled up our brains most of the time.
That when we have nothing to do now, we don't feel comfortable.
Or probably it's because A Levels has robbed us of our freedom so significantly that when we finally get our freedom back, it makes us feel alienated and foreign with it.
We don't quite gel with freedom anymore.
Anyway, I pulled a muscle on my back. So I can't quite turn my neck to see the back of the car when I drive. Sheesh. And my shoulders felt like two stiff iron blades while I was shopping. And I was dead tired. Felt like my back's gonna break anytime soon.
Oh, and I have never been such a panda in my entire life.
I was seriously DEAD DEAD DEAD tired today in church. It's the first time I can hardly open my eyes.
I used to sleep 3-4 hours a day. But I can't seem to get enough of sleep now. I was half snoozing in church today. Hehe. Guilty.
And sometimes, I hate myself for not having enough guts. I shied away when I shook someone's hand in church today. Stupid. Stupid Stupid!!!!! I probably gave the dude a wrong impression/signal. Blargh.
Debble, Debble. Grow up and learn!!!
I think the tiredness is from the drag of the examination period. All the days and hours of pining and waiting for the final moment which marks the end of the examination period.
Oh, and thanks to a lot of events, I wasn't allowed to take a nap after the last Econs paper.
Why?? Because I was stuck in College for 2+ hours to sign up for the Reading programme. My mom was too lazy to go to college another day to sign up again. And the office just won't print my forecast results for me. And... and and and... the student central dude just won't let me sign up and get the forecast results from the office later. Hence, the waiting.
I reached home at about 5 pm. Hah. Awesome. I never rushed so much in my entire life. And I have never seen my mom do the makeup so fast in my entire life.
Oh, the best part was, my mom wanted to punk my hair up for me but in the end she realised that nothing can be done to my hair without making me look old/from space. The dress itself added some age to my look. And so, we ended up washing my hair after an hour of trying. Blargh.
And my sis, like a fly, just wouldn't go away. She insisted on seeing me on the webcam before I left.
And it was jammed!!!!! Well, it's handy to have a Dad who knows the entire KL at the back of his palm.
Nope, I didn't take much pictures during prom. Because, I was a loser without a camera. The camera is in London and the cow hardly uses it!!! Argh, then don't take it there!!! Leave it back here for me!!!!!
The prom was..... okay. It wasn't such a great deal for me. Because, it was kinda boring. All night I just walk about in my loooooonng dress which is quite inconvenient because I tend to step the back of it.
I have learned to accept the fact that one can never look perfect in pictures like how one wants it to be.
So, I'll just be daft with it and leave it be.
The food was kinda nice though.
It was quite frustrating that no one wants to dance with me!!! I mean, not literally with me larr... You know, like someone dancing along so that you're not alone in a sea of strangers. Aiyar, I don't mean partner dancing!!! Argh. Nevermind, I'll get all my chance during my last 2 weeks in London. I don't care. The cow is bringing me clubbing.
Guilty confession: I thought the strip dance performed by the two nominated Prom King was rather entertaining and funny. I don't mean in the dirty sense. The emcee's reactions were just hysterically hilarious and I admire those two guys' guts to do such a dance in front of everyone; especially in front of the lecturers.
Yes, Debble has a wild side. And I do not intend to let my mom see this wild side or I'll kiss Reading goodbye and say hello to dorky, boring, nerdy, kiasu, dead Singapore.
My enthusiasm for Singapore has fizzled out. Too lazy to stick around there for 5 years to finish Bar and all. And I don't wanna be there for another 3 years to pay back for the grant. I'll practically be Singaporean by the time I finish the law course over there and pay back for the grant. And no, I do not want to marry a kiasu Singaporean. And neither do I want to come back to Malaysia as a highly qualified woman with a biological clock striking rather than ticking.
Pardon the possible lack of updates in the future. I might be very busy packing. Because, I not only have to pack my bags, I have to pack my house too. After all the mess from A Levels. It's not obligatory, it's MANDATORY.
Especially if you have a pair of very huge and fierce eyes staring hard at you.
All the dream of going to the gym every day and having a nice sauna after that just vanished in an instant. Oh, not forgetting the chance to drive all over the place.
Ah, Mother, I want my gym and sauna!!!
p/s: I think this Fish-therapy thingy in the Thai fair near my area is just.... gross. Disgusting. Despicable. I will definitely not want to dip my feet in that aquarium of fish swimming all over your toes and apparently eating whatever fungal growth on your feet. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, gonna go asnoozing now in anticipation for Switzerland vs. Portugal later at 2.45 am.
Heh, I know what you're thinking. PANDA BEAR!!!
Oooh, I saw this really cute chipmunk soft toy with really huge eyes the other day!!! Fell in love with it instantly but my mom dragged me away. Said that I'm too childish. Chih.
Anyway, GO PORTUGAL, HOLLAND and ITALY!!!
~Lalalalala~ The mad football season [and fan] begins NOW!!!!!
I can't accept the fact that I have nothing to do now.
No books to stash in the bag when I go to church or shopping.
When my mom is browsing through the store which I am not interested, I can't simply whip out a book like a magic wand for a nerd like I used to to pass my time.
Instead, I am forced to watch the people who walk by me.
I can't stand having nothing to do.
I think it's just A Levels.
Gave us so much of work to do. Filled up our brains most of the time.
That when we have nothing to do now, we don't feel comfortable.
Or probably it's because A Levels has robbed us of our freedom so significantly that when we finally get our freedom back, it makes us feel alienated and foreign with it.
We don't quite gel with freedom anymore.
Anyway, I pulled a muscle on my back. So I can't quite turn my neck to see the back of the car when I drive. Sheesh. And my shoulders felt like two stiff iron blades while I was shopping. And I was dead tired. Felt like my back's gonna break anytime soon.
Oh, and I have never been such a panda in my entire life.
I was seriously DEAD DEAD DEAD tired today in church. It's the first time I can hardly open my eyes.
I used to sleep 3-4 hours a day. But I can't seem to get enough of sleep now. I was half snoozing in church today. Hehe. Guilty.
And sometimes, I hate myself for not having enough guts. I shied away when I shook someone's hand in church today. Stupid. Stupid Stupid!!!!! I probably gave the dude a wrong impression/signal. Blargh.
Debble, Debble. Grow up and learn!!!
I think the tiredness is from the drag of the examination period. All the days and hours of pining and waiting for the final moment which marks the end of the examination period.
Oh, and thanks to a lot of events, I wasn't allowed to take a nap after the last Econs paper.
Why?? Because I was stuck in College for 2+ hours to sign up for the Reading programme. My mom was too lazy to go to college another day to sign up again. And the office just won't print my forecast results for me. And... and and and... the student central dude just won't let me sign up and get the forecast results from the office later. Hence, the waiting.
I reached home at about 5 pm. Hah. Awesome. I never rushed so much in my entire life. And I have never seen my mom do the makeup so fast in my entire life.
Oh, the best part was, my mom wanted to punk my hair up for me but in the end she realised that nothing can be done to my hair without making me look old/from space. The dress itself added some age to my look. And so, we ended up washing my hair after an hour of trying. Blargh.
And my sis, like a fly, just wouldn't go away. She insisted on seeing me on the webcam before I left.
And it was jammed!!!!! Well, it's handy to have a Dad who knows the entire KL at the back of his palm.
Nope, I didn't take much pictures during prom. Because, I was a loser without a camera. The camera is in London and the cow hardly uses it!!! Argh, then don't take it there!!! Leave it back here for me!!!!!
The prom was..... okay. It wasn't such a great deal for me. Because, it was kinda boring. All night I just walk about in my loooooonng dress which is quite inconvenient because I tend to step the back of it.
I have learned to accept the fact that one can never look perfect in pictures like how one wants it to be.
So, I'll just be daft with it and leave it be.
The food was kinda nice though.
It was quite frustrating that no one wants to dance with me!!! I mean, not literally with me larr... You know, like someone dancing along so that you're not alone in a sea of strangers. Aiyar, I don't mean partner dancing!!! Argh. Nevermind, I'll get all my chance during my last 2 weeks in London. I don't care. The cow is bringing me clubbing.
Guilty confession: I thought the strip dance performed by the two nominated Prom King was rather entertaining and funny. I don't mean in the dirty sense. The emcee's reactions were just hysterically hilarious and I admire those two guys' guts to do such a dance in front of everyone; especially in front of the lecturers.
Yes, Debble has a wild side. And I do not intend to let my mom see this wild side or I'll kiss Reading goodbye and say hello to dorky, boring, nerdy, kiasu, dead Singapore.
My enthusiasm for Singapore has fizzled out. Too lazy to stick around there for 5 years to finish Bar and all. And I don't wanna be there for another 3 years to pay back for the grant. I'll practically be Singaporean by the time I finish the law course over there and pay back for the grant. And no, I do not want to marry a kiasu Singaporean. And neither do I want to come back to Malaysia as a highly qualified woman with a biological clock striking rather than ticking.
Pardon the possible lack of updates in the future. I might be very busy packing. Because, I not only have to pack my bags, I have to pack my house too. After all the mess from A Levels. It's not obligatory, it's MANDATORY.
Especially if you have a pair of very huge and fierce eyes staring hard at you.
All the dream of going to the gym every day and having a nice sauna after that just vanished in an instant. Oh, not forgetting the chance to drive all over the place.
Ah, Mother, I want my gym and sauna!!!
p/s: I think this Fish-therapy thingy in the Thai fair near my area is just.... gross. Disgusting. Despicable. I will definitely not want to dip my feet in that aquarium of fish swimming all over your toes and apparently eating whatever fungal growth on your feet. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, gonna go asnoozing now in anticipation for Switzerland vs. Portugal later at 2.45 am.
Heh, I know what you're thinking. PANDA BEAR!!!
Oooh, I saw this really cute chipmunk soft toy with really huge eyes the other day!!! Fell in love with it instantly but my mom dragged me away. Said that I'm too childish. Chih.
Anyway, GO PORTUGAL, HOLLAND and ITALY!!!
~Lalalalala~ The mad football season [and fan] begins NOW!!!!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
It's the 90th Post!!!
It is the 90th post for my 19th birthday!!!
[Lots of 9's.]
And being the controller of this blog, I shall.....
Dedicate this post to my belated birthday. And backdate the post.
Yes,
[Ok, a bit shock-sendiri here. HEh.]
My wish for this year... well, not so much of a wish anymore.
Fine, what I WANT for this year.
Me wants straight A's. Yup. In a gorgeous line.
The new Motorola Rokr E8. Heh. I shall save for it even if it means starving for 2 months. Anyway, I am quite sick of SS15 food now anyway.
And I'll be in SS 15, in the SAME BUILDING for my uni program. Signed up for the Reading program already.
And I shall persuade my sis to spare me some pitis every month as charity for a quite poor student since she's gonna start working. You know, just like sponsoring a child?? Hehe. Sponsor your lil sis!! Because "Charity begins at home" And accelerate the speed of me getting that BEAUTIFUL PHONE!!!
[You know, sometimes, I really wonder... will I be a lawyer buruk some day?? I'm getting pretty good in twisting stuff around and getting crappier.]
What else, what else??
I don't quite have to aspire to lose weight anymore because I will be losing weight with my mom and sis scheming against me [occasionally, my dad chips in] to deny me of the pleasures of glorious food slowly floating down my esophagus while every pore of my being sings with bliss and my brain cells do a little jig along with a flip.
My mom told me that I will be the main source of saving money in Europe while we tour. Because they will be cutting down my food and using the money for my food for other things. Sigh. Sacrifice, Debble, is the ultimate thing to do.
But I shall still eat all those delightful delicacies over there!!! I don't care!!! You can cut 3 days of my meal after that.
I've got my shoes already. Er, CLOTHES!!! I still need more clothes. Got quite a couple of new ones. =D
Oh, I want SKINNY JEANS!!! After I get back from Europe when I am supposed to be skinny. Oh, I do ADORE them. ~Sings for joy and admiration~
Get rid of my EYE-BAGS. My mom bought me this complimentary pair of panda socks [which apparently looks like me without my spectacles] for me to wear while I'm on the plane.
Hmm... On a scandalous note. I might want to know what it feels like to be drunk. As in, pissed drunk. Never tried it, never experienced it. And this is where curiosity kills the panda by breaking the shrub of the bamboo and handing the poor lil [ok, not so little] panda to the mercy of gravity at the acceleration of -9.82 ms^2.
A new bag!!! For uni. I kinda fancy this Nike bag. Heh.
Probably aspire to own my very first bottle of mascara. If I ever use it.
Ok. Enough rambling.
I need to tidur.
Shall update soon when these grumbling eyes are not so grumpy.
Nite! [Er, actually morning.]
[Lots of 9's.]
And being the controller of this blog, I shall.....
Dedicate this post to my belated birthday. And backdate the post.
Yes,
Happy Birthday Debble!!!
[Ok, a bit shock-sendiri here. HEh.]
My wish for this year... well, not so much of a wish anymore.
Fine, what I WANT for this year.
Me wants straight A's. Yup. In a gorgeous line.
The new Motorola Rokr E8. Heh. I shall save for it even if it means starving for 2 months. Anyway, I am quite sick of SS15 food now anyway.
And I'll be in SS 15, in the SAME BUILDING for my uni program. Signed up for the Reading program already.
And I shall persuade my sis to spare me some pitis every month as charity for a quite poor student since she's gonna start working. You know, just like sponsoring a child?? Hehe. Sponsor your lil sis!! Because "Charity begins at home" And accelerate the speed of me getting that BEAUTIFUL PHONE!!!
[You know, sometimes, I really wonder... will I be a lawyer buruk some day?? I'm getting pretty good in twisting stuff around and getting crappier.]
What else, what else??
I don't quite have to aspire to lose weight anymore because I will be losing weight with my mom and sis scheming against me [occasionally, my dad chips in] to deny me of the pleasures of glorious food slowly floating down my esophagus while every pore of my being sings with bliss and my brain cells do a little jig along with a flip.
My mom told me that I will be the main source of saving money in Europe while we tour. Because they will be cutting down my food and using the money for my food for other things. Sigh. Sacrifice, Debble, is the ultimate thing to do.
But I shall still eat all those delightful delicacies over there!!! I don't care!!! You can cut 3 days of my meal after that.
I've got my shoes already. Er, CLOTHES!!! I still need more clothes. Got quite a couple of new ones. =D
Oh, I want SKINNY JEANS!!! After I get back from Europe when I am supposed to be skinny. Oh, I do ADORE them. ~Sings for joy and admiration~
Get rid of my EYE-BAGS. My mom bought me this complimentary pair of panda socks [which apparently looks like me without my spectacles] for me to wear while I'm on the plane.
Hmm... On a scandalous note. I might want to know what it feels like to be drunk. As in, pissed drunk. Never tried it, never experienced it. And this is where curiosity kills the panda by breaking the shrub of the bamboo and handing the poor lil [ok, not so little] panda to the mercy of gravity at the acceleration of -9.82 ms^2.
A new bag!!! For uni. I kinda fancy this Nike bag. Heh.
Probably aspire to own my very first bottle of mascara. If I ever use it.
Ok. Enough rambling.
I need to tidur.
Shall update soon when these grumbling eyes are not so grumpy.
Nite! [Er, actually morning.]
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Seriously, Cut The Crap
I seriously can't stand the crap of:
If you are so judgemental, if you have such an idealistic mindset, well, keep it to yourself and remember that you will be judged as well.
Take Obambi for instance. He is totally hilarious.
Say something bad about Obambi, and you're discriminating and talking bad about his entire community. Do something against Obambi, and you are doing it towards his people.
Ah, seriously, why don't you just make Obambi your God??
Obambi is Obambi. You are you. Literature, does not apply in this area where if you kill one, you kill all. Sorry, there is no allegory in Obambi to represent the entire community.
You know what?
Quote: "If Democrats have brains, they will be Republicans."
I kinda agree with it.
All those endless ramblings about gay rights, abortion rights and sodomy rights. You wanna talk about humanity? Let's talk about humanity. Do you think it's humane to do all these anomaly against nature?? And you think that it is inhumane not to legally recognise these people?? Talk about irony. It is almost saying "Fair is foul and foul is fair". So at the end of the day, what is fair and foul?? Does humanity exist?
I don't quite think so.
Let's talk about something more down to earth.
Oh, I don't like her because she should be behaving this way and not that. Oh, what a shame, she does not live up to her name. Or, I don't like her because she doesn't like me clinging to her. I will move on because I don't need her anymore. I found someone better who will amuse me very much more than the boring her.
Isn't it typical of humankind?? To be so utterly judgemental and self-centered?
Well, to tell you the truth, I will rather shed these people from my life than have them in. Because they suck the life out of me.
I do not want to be a people pleaser. And neither am I obliged to be one.
Worse come to worse, I will just do what I did when I finished Form 5. Shed the skin, and start a new leaf. I don't need to carry on with old skin.
I don't care if you don't talk to me anymore. Because, I am quite sick of this judgemental community who censures everyone but themselves.
You make use of me because I was still of value, and when I am no longer of value and you have found someone else to replace me, you drop me like a hot bun.
Fine. Let me just say that if you drop me once, you drop me for good. No wonder you are in so much of emotional turmoil. Because it is impossible to please you. Because you never once bothered about how others feel.
Go ahead and chase the wind. I am just gonna stand by and watch.
I can only pray I will get an A for Literature. Apparently, Ms Anne said that Paper 5 will be even tougher since Paper 7 is considered as very approachable compared to previous years.
I am seriously sick of this world. Finding someone/something different from this world is rare. Because most people are so stereotype.
- Oh no, you must do this. Because you must be a good person.
- Oh no, you must behave this way. You are so and so.
- Oh no, you must not think this way. You must think like a saint.
- Oh no, you must not say this kind of things. You must think about humanity.
If you are so judgemental, if you have such an idealistic mindset, well, keep it to yourself and remember that you will be judged as well.
Take Obambi for instance. He is totally hilarious.
Say something bad about Obambi, and you're discriminating and talking bad about his entire community. Do something against Obambi, and you are doing it towards his people.
Ah, seriously, why don't you just make Obambi your God??
Obambi is Obambi. You are you. Literature, does not apply in this area where if you kill one, you kill all. Sorry, there is no allegory in Obambi to represent the entire community.
You know what?
Quote: "If Democrats have brains, they will be Republicans."
I kinda agree with it.
All those endless ramblings about gay rights, abortion rights and sodomy rights. You wanna talk about humanity? Let's talk about humanity. Do you think it's humane to do all these anomaly against nature?? And you think that it is inhumane not to legally recognise these people?? Talk about irony. It is almost saying "Fair is foul and foul is fair". So at the end of the day, what is fair and foul?? Does humanity exist?
I don't quite think so.
Let's talk about something more down to earth.
Oh, I don't like her because she should be behaving this way and not that. Oh, what a shame, she does not live up to her name. Or, I don't like her because she doesn't like me clinging to her. I will move on because I don't need her anymore. I found someone better who will amuse me very much more than the boring her.
Isn't it typical of humankind?? To be so utterly judgemental and self-centered?
Well, to tell you the truth, I will rather shed these people from my life than have them in. Because they suck the life out of me.
I do not want to be a people pleaser. And neither am I obliged to be one.
Worse come to worse, I will just do what I did when I finished Form 5. Shed the skin, and start a new leaf. I don't need to carry on with old skin.
I don't care if you don't talk to me anymore. Because, I am quite sick of this judgemental community who censures everyone but themselves.
You make use of me because I was still of value, and when I am no longer of value and you have found someone else to replace me, you drop me like a hot bun.
Fine. Let me just say that if you drop me once, you drop me for good. No wonder you are in so much of emotional turmoil. Because it is impossible to please you. Because you never once bothered about how others feel.
Go ahead and chase the wind. I am just gonna stand by and watch.
I can only pray I will get an A for Literature. Apparently, Ms Anne said that Paper 5 will be even tougher since Paper 7 is considered as very approachable compared to previous years.
I am seriously sick of this world. Finding someone/something different from this world is rare. Because most people are so stereotype.
Monday, June 9, 2008
A Bad Day with A Bad Hair Day
Today, is totally shitty.
Life is such a bitch. When will it be better??
I have to start on King Lear and Nun's Priest. Paper 7 too.
And this is when the cliche goes: "So much to do, so little time"
Yesterday was kinda frustrating as well.
Saw this AWESOME fuchsia Nike tennis shoes. It was absolutely beautiful. And there's a 10 % off!!
But they don't have my size. In the entire store, there is not a single shoe from Nike that has my size.
Talk about discrimination against people with unwanted long/big feet.
It's so unfair. My sister is almost the same height with me, slightly shorter, but she's only a size 6. And there's size for her for every gorgeous pair. Too bad she's still in London.
She is so lucky. She gets to go for Chris Tomlin's concert, go for a picnic, go shopping all over the place [There is an awesome sale for Topshop there now.] and go for the UN peace conference.
And I am stuck at home doing MCQs and I do it everywhere I go as well. I do MCQs even while I shop.
It was kinda awkward at the store there where I was buying my shoes. Because this guy from my church [whom I have never talked to but seem to know] is working there. He ignored me, I ignored him. And my dad just has to be the tremendous one to ask him for assistance.
Well, in the end, after walking the entire KLCC, I found 2 pairs of shoes. Almost got a sneakers from Everlast but failed.
I got a raspberry pink Nike shoes and another black Le Coq Sportif shoes. My mom can't stop laughing at my rooster shoes. It was so humiliating when she asked the counter fella if they give free rooster soft toys.
Almost didn't get to buy those shoes as well. The network line for credit card there was really bad. We had to pay cash in Madame Kwan's.
I don't like the new Isetan at KLCC. They don't have MNG there anymore. And the clothes there are not as good as before. And they shifted the shoes section down to the same floor with the ladies' department. The upper floor is strictly for perfumes, lots of handbags and with the exception of DKNY, BCBG Maxazria, LeSportSac and Ralph Lauren.
Oh, and there was a wire fuse in Isetan's top floor. 3 levels was covered with smoke.
Thank God my mom and I managed to drag my dad there. It was the last day of sales for most of the stores. Phew. [Breathes a word of thankfulness.]
I am broke from going to Kinokuniya. Bookshops are the easiest places to splurge I tell you. [For me at least] Sometimes, I just feel like getting a part-time job there and while I'm working there, read every single story book on the rack.
My sis encouraged me because I seem to have a knack for wrapping books. So maybe I can be a salesgirl wrapping books and when there are no customers, I sneak a book to read. If you were to see me there, please pretend that you don't know me. Thank you.
Isn't it funny that when we are in a situation, we seem to think that things are tremendously awful but when we actually sit down, reflect and think/type about it, it seems almost insignificant and trivial.
It's just another mundane human being's rambling about the boring routines of life. [Or at least mine]
Please, please let the nightmare of A Levels end FAST!!! I want my freedom so that I can chill out big time. [Even if it's with my mom.]
Until then, ~Ta~
- My phone is out of credit.
- The stupid machine at Asia Cafe ate 3 bucks of mine. And I'm obliged to buy the reload there no matter what. Because my money is in there in the retarded account. And they don't give any change.
- Mac Centre does not wanna sell me just the objective answers for Economics.
- The Tom Yam stall is closed at AC
- I am fined 14 bucks by the Library
- I only have 14 bucks left this month. Went splurging big time yesterday at KLCC
- My hair is uncontrollable.
- I am stuck here in college until 11 am when my mom wakes up and decides to pick me up. [Not forgetting the customary wait of at least 30 minutes for her to arrive]
Life is such a bitch. When will it be better??
I have to start on King Lear and Nun's Priest. Paper 7 too.
And this is when the cliche goes: "So much to do, so little time"
Yesterday was kinda frustrating as well.
Saw this AWESOME fuchsia Nike tennis shoes. It was absolutely beautiful. And there's a 10 % off!!
But they don't have my size. In the entire store, there is not a single shoe from Nike that has my size.
Talk about discrimination against people with unwanted long/big feet.
It's so unfair. My sister is almost the same height with me, slightly shorter, but she's only a size 6. And there's size for her for every gorgeous pair. Too bad she's still in London.
She is so lucky. She gets to go for Chris Tomlin's concert, go for a picnic, go shopping all over the place [There is an awesome sale for Topshop there now.] and go for the UN peace conference.
And I am stuck at home doing MCQs and I do it everywhere I go as well. I do MCQs even while I shop.
It was kinda awkward at the store there where I was buying my shoes. Because this guy from my church [whom I have never talked to but seem to know] is working there. He ignored me, I ignored him. And my dad just has to be the tremendous one to ask him for assistance.
Well, in the end, after walking the entire KLCC, I found 2 pairs of shoes. Almost got a sneakers from Everlast but failed.
I got a raspberry pink Nike shoes and another black Le Coq Sportif shoes. My mom can't stop laughing at my rooster shoes. It was so humiliating when she asked the counter fella if they give free rooster soft toys.
Almost didn't get to buy those shoes as well. The network line for credit card there was really bad. We had to pay cash in Madame Kwan's.
I don't like the new Isetan at KLCC. They don't have MNG there anymore. And the clothes there are not as good as before. And they shifted the shoes section down to the same floor with the ladies' department. The upper floor is strictly for perfumes, lots of handbags and with the exception of DKNY, BCBG Maxazria, LeSportSac and Ralph Lauren.
Oh, and there was a wire fuse in Isetan's top floor. 3 levels was covered with smoke.
Thank God my mom and I managed to drag my dad there. It was the last day of sales for most of the stores. Phew. [Breathes a word of thankfulness.]
I am broke from going to Kinokuniya. Bookshops are the easiest places to splurge I tell you. [For me at least] Sometimes, I just feel like getting a part-time job there and while I'm working there, read every single story book on the rack.
My sis encouraged me because I seem to have a knack for wrapping books. So maybe I can be a salesgirl wrapping books and when there are no customers, I sneak a book to read. If you were to see me there, please pretend that you don't know me. Thank you.
Isn't it funny that when we are in a situation, we seem to think that things are tremendously awful but when we actually sit down, reflect and think/type about it, it seems almost insignificant and trivial.
It's just another mundane human being's rambling about the boring routines of life. [Or at least mine]
Please, please let the nightmare of A Levels end FAST!!! I want my freedom so that I can chill out big time. [Even if it's with my mom.]
Until then, ~Ta~
Saturday, June 7, 2008
The Truth
Alright. Let me tell you the truth.
The truth is, once upon a time, I used to speak perfect Mandarin.
But somehow, life has led me to hate the obstinate Chinese traditions.
Hence, I tried erasing all traditional elements in me.
I eventually succeeded. I can't even order chinese tea in mandarin now.
Call me a traitor, someone who forgets one's origins, but you cannot blame me.
Because traditional Chinese ways has led my life into a total mess.
With all the stupid protocols and proceedings. Some of them are absolutely not needed in this modern setting. Like the importance of having a son in the family. Ah, Fuck Off!!
My life is a complete shitty experience.
I hate attending, being there for weddings and funerals, especially from my dad's side because they are totally traditional.
Because there will be a scene, an embedded bad memory and a scar in the soul every time I attend these stupid ceremonies.
I hate looking forward to Chinese auspicious days, I hate following the superstitions and I hate being censured for being different.
And I absolutely hate how some traditional Chinese people behave.
And the one thing that I ultimately hate the most.
I may be trying to erase my identity. But what I really want is a change, a leap away from the ordinary traditional ways.
Yes, I am very rebellious.
And yes, I am extremely emo lately.
The truth is, once upon a time, I used to speak perfect Mandarin.
But somehow, life has led me to hate the obstinate Chinese traditions.
Hence, I tried erasing all traditional elements in me.
I eventually succeeded. I can't even order chinese tea in mandarin now.
Call me a traitor, someone who forgets one's origins, but you cannot blame me.
Because traditional Chinese ways has led my life into a total mess.
With all the stupid protocols and proceedings. Some of them are absolutely not needed in this modern setting. Like the importance of having a son in the family. Ah, Fuck Off!!
My life is a complete shitty experience.
I hate attending, being there for weddings and funerals, especially from my dad's side because they are totally traditional.
Because there will be a scene, an embedded bad memory and a scar in the soul every time I attend these stupid ceremonies.
I hate looking forward to Chinese auspicious days, I hate following the superstitions and I hate being censured for being different.
And I absolutely hate how some traditional Chinese people behave.
And the one thing that I ultimately hate the most.
My Chinese Name.
If you were to know what I go through with all these stupid traditional chinese ways, you will not blame me for behaving like this and you will join me.I may be trying to erase my identity. But what I really want is a change, a leap away from the ordinary traditional ways.
Yes, I am very rebellious.
And yes, I am extremely emo lately.
What Happened to the Child
The child stares ahead of the field
Thinking and aspiring to build
Something magnificent on this beautiful and vast land
Building a determined architecture which is hard
To bend.
The child happily hops around the land
With high hopes that everything which is to pend
Will be something tremendous to behold.
Dreaming, the child slips and falls
Sitting, her emotions are in a stall
Realising, that she has been awakened from
Dreaming, Reality hits hard with one swift slap.
The secret lock of her heart breaks
Bursting open a treasure of dark memories
Which has so long haunted her soul
They spew out uncontrollably.
The child opens her mouth
For any sound, anything to come out
But the child remains mute
Staring blankly at her own reflection
At the empty gaping throat
Because all expressions have been transferred
To the invincible bleeding heart.
The child can only recoil
Desperately trying to push all the dark heirlooms back in
In this desperation
The outer adult builds a strong invincible impenetrable wall
With a key in hand,
Locks the child in a new plain box
Along with all the emotional turmoil
And drops the key in hand
Into the vast ocean
Where it can never be found again.
So ancient now and impossible to find
Is that plain box
To fill in the vacuum
In this adult's soul.
For this child was her everything
Her emotions
Her zest for life
Her free happiness
Her determination.
She is left with an empty shell
To carry on with life
Pacing formlessly
On the dark, long and winding road
Thinking and aspiring to build
Something magnificent on this beautiful and vast land
Building a determined architecture which is hard
To bend.
The child happily hops around the land
With high hopes that everything which is to pend
Will be something tremendous to behold.
Dreaming, the child slips and falls
Sitting, her emotions are in a stall
Realising, that she has been awakened from
Dreaming, Reality hits hard with one swift slap.
The secret lock of her heart breaks
Bursting open a treasure of dark memories
Which has so long haunted her soul
They spew out uncontrollably.
The child opens her mouth
For any sound, anything to come out
But the child remains mute
Staring blankly at her own reflection
At the empty gaping throat
Because all expressions have been transferred
To the invincible bleeding heart.
The child can only recoil
Desperately trying to push all the dark heirlooms back in
In this desperation
The outer adult builds a strong invincible impenetrable wall
With a key in hand,
Locks the child in a new plain box
Along with all the emotional turmoil
And drops the key in hand
Into the vast ocean
Where it can never be found again.
So ancient now and impossible to find
Is that plain box
To fill in the vacuum
In this adult's soul.
For this child was her everything
Her emotions
Her zest for life
Her free happiness
Her determination.
She is left with an empty shell
To carry on with life
Pacing formlessly
On the dark, long and winding road
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Useless Lump of Mobile Clay??
I feel so worthless and useless sometimes.
While others are really hardworking and memorising and slaving away with their books, I am taking my own sweet time to read stuff, chill out, watch telly, sleep, bum around and later do last minute cramming.
I am wasting my brains, talents and capabilities. Wasting my time. Wasting all of my effort in the entire 1 1/2 years of college in getting a good foundation of my studies. Wasting my parents' money. Wasting the lecturers' time. Wasting the examiner's time marking. Wasting a spot in Taylors.
So what if I can absorb and understand things really fast?? And be really argumentative and analytical??
I did not study as hard as I should have for the Finals. I did everything last minute.
12 hours of study for Contract
4 hours for Literature Paper 3
14 hours for Tort
8 hours for Economics
Question: Can I make it through this Final Examination??
I know I have so much more capacity to excel. If only I have pumped in more effort and discipline. Had I done it, I would have soared.
Although I answered everything that I wanted, everything that was relevant, and everything that was sufficient for an A; yet it was still not my best although I covered all relevant problem areas.
I know I had the capacity to be able to memorise the entire two Law textbooks if I could have made myself sit and study. And I would be able to pour everything out in the exam hall in a jiffy along with concrete arguments.
I did produce good arguments [according to me]; yet there is this nagging feeling that it was not good enough. It was not perfect enough.
I knew that I would have been able to nail Economics straightaway if I had studied throughout the weekend rather than go shopping. I would not have to rush for the last essay.
The funny thing is. There is this certain calmness, peace and non-weary feeling in me. It is a good thing, but it unnerves me at times.
Am I so numb towards studying and life or is it because I actually did do well for my Finals??
I know that all of my answers are relevant and quite thorough.
But is this enough??
Will I get straight A's and get an offer from NUS??
I cannot predict the future. But I can only place my hope, faith and trust in God that everything will unfold by itself graciously and turn into a blessing.
I hardly studied for UPSR, PMR and SPM. And yet, I excelled.
Dear God, let me excel just this once more. You are my last hope. And I can only place my trust in You.
What happened to the old me who used to be really driven to study?? Who could sit for 3 whole weeks before the examination just to study?? I was a total bitch at that time.
Has becoming a better person in nature dampened my drive to study??
Have I settled down to such complacent comfort that I have come down to this?
I need answers. Am I being a total over-driving perfectionist who is too hard on herself??
While others are really hardworking and memorising and slaving away with their books, I am taking my own sweet time to read stuff, chill out, watch telly, sleep, bum around and later do last minute cramming.
I am wasting my brains, talents and capabilities. Wasting my time. Wasting all of my effort in the entire 1 1/2 years of college in getting a good foundation of my studies. Wasting my parents' money. Wasting the lecturers' time. Wasting the examiner's time marking. Wasting a spot in Taylors.
So what if I can absorb and understand things really fast?? And be really argumentative and analytical??
I did not study as hard as I should have for the Finals. I did everything last minute.
12 hours of study for Contract
4 hours for Literature Paper 3
14 hours for Tort
8 hours for Economics
Question: Can I make it through this Final Examination??
I know I have so much more capacity to excel. If only I have pumped in more effort and discipline. Had I done it, I would have soared.
Although I answered everything that I wanted, everything that was relevant, and everything that was sufficient for an A; yet it was still not my best although I covered all relevant problem areas.
I know I had the capacity to be able to memorise the entire two Law textbooks if I could have made myself sit and study. And I would be able to pour everything out in the exam hall in a jiffy along with concrete arguments.
I did produce good arguments [according to me]; yet there is this nagging feeling that it was not good enough. It was not perfect enough.
I knew that I would have been able to nail Economics straightaway if I had studied throughout the weekend rather than go shopping. I would not have to rush for the last essay.
The funny thing is. There is this certain calmness, peace and non-weary feeling in me. It is a good thing, but it unnerves me at times.
Am I so numb towards studying and life or is it because I actually did do well for my Finals??
I know that all of my answers are relevant and quite thorough.
But is this enough??
Will I get straight A's and get an offer from NUS??
I cannot predict the future. But I can only place my hope, faith and trust in God that everything will unfold by itself graciously and turn into a blessing.
I hardly studied for UPSR, PMR and SPM. And yet, I excelled.
Dear God, let me excel just this once more. You are my last hope. And I can only place my trust in You.
What happened to the old me who used to be really driven to study?? Who could sit for 3 whole weeks before the examination just to study?? I was a total bitch at that time.
Has becoming a better person in nature dampened my drive to study??
Have I settled down to such complacent comfort that I have come down to this?
I need answers. Am I being a total over-driving perfectionist who is too hard on herself??
Air Pump Please?
So after Contract, I became deflated and actually just threw everything and started playing around.
Consequently, I had to rush reading Little Governess for Paper 3 [Thank Goodness it was Indiscreet Journey that came out]
I had to sleep for only 3 hours when Tort Law was arriving. It was Torturous Law.
But I think I did quite ok despite acute time constraint. I should be able to get at least a Band 4 for my 3rd essay or better still, even higher!!!. I am hoping...
You think my deflation for Tort is bad??
Well, for Economics 4, I practically didn't study during the weekends, bumming around and I went shopping!!!
It was not an option anyway. I had to start shopping for stuff for the hols and I'll have to do it before all the good stuff on sale gets sold off!!
I am contemplating on buying Sketchers' shoes. Any advice or tips on it? Is the shoes comfortable to walk in?? I don't wanna end up throwing the shoes out of frustration when I walk halfway around the globe. Michelle K designs are kinda cool.
And come Econs day, I woke up 8 hours before the exam and started SERIOUS CRAMMING.
For once, I felt some adrenaline pumping and some stress factor.
Well, my last essay was in point form. Only had 10 minutes for that one. I should get at least half the marks right since the lower bands are for serious confusion where they show nuts bout understanding the question and all?? Dearest, CIE, please don't be so mean. Just accept the fact that your data question was totally from another galaxy and we needed more time deciphering what the hell you want from us in the question because it seems to be all over the place!!! Between Macro and Micro!!! Talk about madness!!
And so now, I need an air pump and someone to pump me up for the next 3 papers.
Ooooh, I have the prom tickets by the way. Collect it from me during Literature paper ok?? For people on the 2nd table, I am sorry to say that you will have to wait until Jean makes up her mind and pays up or we get a substitute. Anyone interested [Yes, I am talking to you Ms Christine Tay], feel free to just let me know and you shall expire Jean's contemplation period.
A quick tip of how to go down the staircase really quickly. Like about 7 steps at one go.
Close your eyes and step down by faith.
Why do I have such happy habit of slipping at the staircase. It is like, what, the 5th time?? I was down 7 steps in a twinkle of an eye. More like in the flash of light.
Anyway, I am a happy woman.
I really do hope that we will be taking the Eurorail and going to all over the place where I can go to Madrid, Milan, Salsburg, Prague, Budapest, Munich, Brussels and not go on some crap tour where all I constantly visit are museums and castles. I don't mind backpacking and living on the train for a month. [Dear me, please do not think of this as mission make others envy or mission brag till your face burst.]
I can't wait to fly away.
And after that let time stop.
I don't wanna come back and do the Reading programme actually, to be honest.
I want my gap year!!!
Anyone going to Reading?? Let me know. I am all alone currently.
p/s: If you are wondering how come this night owl is blogging at such an early time in the morning, well, my dad woke me up to be his secretary. He is a lucky man to have a computer genius for a daughter and not some bimbo who don't even know what a computer function is. [No, I'm not talking about Eilene. Eilene is fine now. In fact she's kinda good in computers now!!]
Consequently, I had to rush reading Little Governess for Paper 3 [Thank Goodness it was Indiscreet Journey that came out]
I had to sleep for only 3 hours when Tort Law was arriving. It was Torturous Law.
But I think I did quite ok despite acute time constraint. I should be able to get at least a Band 4 for my 3rd essay or better still, even higher!!!. I am hoping...
You think my deflation for Tort is bad??
Well, for Economics 4, I practically didn't study during the weekends, bumming around and I went shopping!!!
It was not an option anyway. I had to start shopping for stuff for the hols and I'll have to do it before all the good stuff on sale gets sold off!!
I am contemplating on buying Sketchers' shoes. Any advice or tips on it? Is the shoes comfortable to walk in?? I don't wanna end up throwing the shoes out of frustration when I walk halfway around the globe. Michelle K designs are kinda cool.
And come Econs day, I woke up 8 hours before the exam and started SERIOUS CRAMMING.
For once, I felt some adrenaline pumping and some stress factor.
Well, my last essay was in point form. Only had 10 minutes for that one. I should get at least half the marks right since the lower bands are for serious confusion where they show nuts bout understanding the question and all?? Dearest, CIE, please don't be so mean. Just accept the fact that your data question was totally from another galaxy and we needed more time deciphering what the hell you want from us in the question because it seems to be all over the place!!! Between Macro and Micro!!! Talk about madness!!
And so now, I need an air pump and someone to pump me up for the next 3 papers.
Ooooh, I have the prom tickets by the way. Collect it from me during Literature paper ok?? For people on the 2nd table, I am sorry to say that you will have to wait until Jean makes up her mind and pays up or we get a substitute. Anyone interested [Yes, I am talking to you Ms Christine Tay], feel free to just let me know and you shall expire Jean's contemplation period.
A quick tip of how to go down the staircase really quickly. Like about 7 steps at one go.
Close your eyes and step down by faith.
Why do I have such happy habit of slipping at the staircase. It is like, what, the 5th time?? I was down 7 steps in a twinkle of an eye. More like in the flash of light.
Anyway, I am a happy woman.
I really do hope that we will be taking the Eurorail and going to all over the place where I can go to Madrid, Milan, Salsburg, Prague, Budapest, Munich, Brussels and not go on some crap tour where all I constantly visit are museums and castles. I don't mind backpacking and living on the train for a month. [Dear me, please do not think of this as mission make others envy or mission brag till your face burst.]
I can't wait to fly away.
And after that let time stop.
I don't wanna come back and do the Reading programme actually, to be honest.
I want my gap year!!!
Anyone going to Reading?? Let me know. I am all alone currently.
p/s: If you are wondering how come this night owl is blogging at such an early time in the morning, well, my dad woke me up to be his secretary. He is a lucky man to have a computer genius for a daughter and not some bimbo who don't even know what a computer function is. [No, I'm not talking about Eilene. Eilene is fine now. In fact she's kinda good in computers now!!]
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