Rush

Music really speaks to the soul.

And it definitely spoke in August Rush.

That movie is TOTALLY awesome.

The mixture of indie music and classical music is just ingenius.

Not to forget a good build-up of plot and good music composed.

I don't get it. The movie critics said that the movie is like some fairy-tale.

But I think the music is splendidly tremendous.

I really felt the whole rush of emotions and my love for classical music which has been dwindling lately has been rekindled.

A whole rhapsody was composed out of a 6-note phrase music. Which was played throughout the movie.

The whole love chemistry was clearly evident.

Not to forget you get to watch hot hunks like Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

I didn't know that he sings.

And he sings pretty well!!! His voice is just so husky!!!

I think it is an awesome movie overall. Love the ending witht he peak of the orchestra music and the good ending.

Something just wells inside of you, a mixture of pride, enthusiasm and awe which threatens to burst out all together but is balled-up in the end.

I am just totally speechless with this movie.

It is rather rare to find a movie with a good plot build-up combined with good music.

Just be a little patient and listen out these songs??

[I'll post the song when imeem is more affable]

I love the cello and the strings. It can depict such tragic and desolate atmospheres on the note of forlornness.

She was an Eye-Witness and Escapee

It was a beautiful sunny Friday.

With earphones stuffed in her ears and her mind clouded with thoughts, she walked.

She walked as fast as she could to catch a train.

Her body threatened to collapse due to being overly fatigued.

It was a long and lonely road up ahead.

It was peaceful, quiet.

She walked under the comfortable and protective shade of the trees from the sun.

Boys Like Girl's The Great Escape was blasting in her ears.

In the middle of that lonesome road, there she walked.

Right up ahead, about 50 feet away; a motorcycle came cruising by.

In front of her, a man with a huge pouch-bag strapped around his hips.

And ahead of the man, was a woman with a white handbag and a blue paperbag.

She was wearing a bright sea blue shirt and white pants.

The motorcycle stopped adjacent to her.

Down, in a swish, a gnome ran on his little feet.

And he snatched her precious white handbag and hopped on back on the motorcycle like a frog leaping from one spot to another and back again.

From the back, she could only watch.

A lightning of fear and adrenaline coursed through her body.

She was greatful to God that she was not in the place of that unfortunate woman.

As she looked ahead, she saw the same relief in the man with the pouch bag.

She forced her limbs to walk on faster to be rid of that lonely and forsaken path.

At the end of the road, a police car whisked by.

And she wondered to herself. Is there no justice in this world?

The motorcycle carrying that leaping leech was in the opposite direction.

Why did the man ahead not run to the woman's aid?

Are human beings that self-centred that injustice is left in the corner of the dumpsite.

Left there to rot and spread vermins and carry viruses around.

Ethereal Realistic Slap On The Face

I feel so stupid.

I was brooding and was really depressed with the fact that I probably might not be able to go to NUS because the fees are really expensive especially if you are an international student.

Only to find out that I calculated wrongly.

Stupid right??

All the emotions drained and wasted for naught.

And all the gorging to compensate for the depression for nothing.

Urgh.

And my mom later told me that if... IF I prove myself worthy to do Law, then she will come out with all the money that I need.

Hah. Thanks for telling me only AFTER my depressed state.

But I feel relieved now.

But I still do not have any mood to study.

And trials is just next week.

Yeah, a lot of you people will not believe that Debble is not studying.

Truth: Debble is not studying.

You might think that Debble is trying to cover up so as not to look so nerdy and hardworking or possibly try to act smart by scoring well and not studying...

YOU ARE WRONG.

I really am very unproductive.

And I'm finding the part of me which is overly hardworking and focused still.

What happened to that fella larr??

Went into hibernation and cannot be found??

WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP HARDWORKING DEBBLE!!!

p/s: I still want my sister's very wide range of vocabulary and her "elegant" style of writing. [minus the long-windedness of course]

You know what??

She scolded me for not reading the encyclopaedia when I was younger. She's a little bit of a psycho there.

Btw, if one does chambering in Singapore, one will get about RM4k instead of RM1.5-1.8k over here.

Ah... Debble, YOU NEED A HUGE SLAP ON YOUR FACE TO WAKE UP AND START STUDYING AND BE REALISTIC

Stop surfing the net for dream universities and study for now.

[and stop surfing for the latest up-coming movies. Btw, Daniel Henney will be acting in X-Men Origins : Wolverin] Something like that.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR INDIANA JONES!!!!! [Shia LaBeouf, HOTNESS!!]

Driving Lesson #3

Alright now. A quick summary of my first two driving lessons since I am too lazy to give the full report.

1. I keep on changing instructors.

2. All the instructors complain that I drive too fast.

3. All the instructors complain that I lift the clutch and change the gear too fast. [As a result, my car lurches at time and it gives them high-blood pressure right up to their temples.]

4. Other than that I'm quite a good driver.

5. The 2nd driving instructor actually taught me in Mandarin. Oh, the bliss. I could only understand half of what he was saying.

As for today, it was another story.

It was a "great start" with the phone ringing off in the middle of Economics with Mrs. Grace posing her peeved pose with a long face.

The irritating instructor called me. And I had to force my brains to interprete what he was babbling on the phone.

He was at the KTM station, ready to pick me up.

He was supposed to be there only at 3pm. Told him to pick me up at 3 pm again.

And so, I rushed all the way to the train station. Yes, Miss Othilia, now you know how fast I walk?? You're not even half as fast as me!!! [tee hee] Yes, you should wish that I wear skirts and inconvenient footwear more often or I'll usually walk really fast. More like stride.

The next shocking truth?? This new driving instructor does not understand A WORD OF ENGLISH, I cannot understand A WORD OF WHAT HE SAYS IN MANDARIN [because his mandarin intonation and slang are just too hard to decipher and the words that he uses are really deep].

We resoluted to speaking Hokkien.

And I don't quite understand his Hokkien because his Hokkien is also very deep. And he speaks too fast for my brains to interprete the words.

The lesson was the perfect epitome of a CHICKEN TALKING TO A DUCK.

And you know what??

This driving instructor has no cockles.

HE STEPS THE FREAKING BREAK BEFORE I EVEN TOUCH IT!!!

What's the point of telling me to break when you are stepping on the break???

How am I to learn how to feel the break??

Hey, when I learnt how to drive from the other two instructors, my breaking and driving was perfectly well done all right??

Dude, I'm not that bad you know. Just because I'm a bit fast it does not mean that I'm bad at driving!!!

The only thing that I'm kinda bad at for the time being is estimating how much more gap I have when I reverse. Because there are 2 freaking sunshade stucked at the backscreen. So I have to pop my head out like a freaking DUCK!!!

The slope drive was not that bad. Just a bit bad at stopping the car on the yellow box. [Hey, cut me some slack ok? It's my first lesson for parking, 3-point-turn and slope.]

I so agree with Eilene. I really hate turning the steering. It's so heavy!!! It is as if I'm in some tug-o-war. Not to mention the car tyre was ALMOST FLAT, which makes manouevering the steering even harder!!!

And so, he took me to the JPA route which is rich with lots of uneven surfaces which makes you feel like you're in a boat ride and not to forget, LOTS OF POT HOLES!!!!!

And it was raining heavily.

He asked me to drive in Gear 2. WTH?? Dya know how the 2nd gear CRAWLS??? Not to brag or anything. I'm serious!!! You only get to go about 20 kmph max. All the cars were overtaking me. And he told me, "No, nevermind, continue driving" [translated from Hokkien]

I couldn't take it. I changed to the 3rd gear. And drove at 35 kmph. It's not that fast, right?? Oh gosh.

And I drove all the way home just to find that my mom was out.

I decided to drive to my aunt's house.

You see, in my housing lane, the road is blocked with a bridge where only passengers, bikers and motorcyclists can cross. So the car has got to reverse.

Instead of reversing straight, I turned the steering to the right a little.

It's a trick I learnt from my dad and we have all been reversing that way for years so that it is easier to go out.

He freaked out and screamed at me. "Why did you turn your steering?? You are supposed to reverse straight!!!"

I lost my composure a little.

"Don't worry. I know how to drive over here!!!" Dude, this is my domain. Don't try to teach the duck how to swim. [I have been illegally driving my parents' cars so, yeah, I know how to reverse the car pretty well.]

And I drove all the way to my aunt's house.

And let's end here.

Don't worry, my driving will not end up like Kuhan's driving.

p/s: With the knowledge that lecturers do read our blogs, I feel kinda EXPOSED here. And I'm feeling rather insecure and vulnerable.

Judgements [Please read until the end or do not read at all]

Alright. Let us just see from a general perspective about men.

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to insult or censure anyone but it is just an observation. Take it or leave it.

Sometimes, their ego can be equated to a piece of paper.

If Men's Ego = Paper, then:
1. If you keep it too well and comfortable, it becomes yellow and spotted.
2. Keep it too crisp and it will give you paper cut. Thin, fine, unnoticeable and PAINFUL.
3. If it is too crumpled, then things are gonna look ugly
4. If you spill something on it, it gets tainted forever.
5. If you tear it, you can never piece it back to its original form.

In fact, almost everyone's ego is like a piece of paper. Fragile. It's just the degree of fragility

However, I read something which really threw me into another light of perception of men.

If you think Bequests of Love in the SPM Literature syllabus is sweet, I tell you, it is a work of piracy and it is overly-done with too much of emoness. And I tell you, the effect that the prose I read is a light year better than Bequests of Love. The emotional effect was apt and totally not overly done.

The prose is written by Alice Elliot Dark in 1993; entitled 'In The Gloaming'

The story is about a mother whose son is having an illness.

He has to sit in a wheelchair with blankets wrapping up his frail frame and near the end of his life, he could hardly hold a polystyrene cup with a straw in it properly.

His father was always detached. He was a workaholic. He ran away when he was needed to support his wife emotionally. He ignored his son. He never came back for dinner. He was not there at his son's last moments on this earth.

He hardly talked to his son. He knew his son was dying.

But when his son finally died, he said one sentence which blew me away.

"Tell me what else did our son like."

He even cried.

The father was not detached. He was not cold.

He simply did not know how to react and accommodate to the situation.

But deep down, he still loved his son very much. He just did not know what to do.

He could not bear to sit on the dining table and watch his son's life slowly robbed away from him.

He did not know how to control his emotions and he suppresses them by being indulged in work.

Men are such complex beings.

Men are practical and they provide physical security.

Women are emotional and provide emotional security.

That is the reason why men and women exist together. To complete each other. And they need to be different to complete each other.

Don't you dare discriminate against any one of them.

And that is why homosexuality is not really acceptable in this world by certain people because unless the relationship of that couple can fulfil what a normal man and woman can; only can homosexuality work out well.

And let me declare this.

NO, I DO NOT discriminate or condemn people for their background.

I respect their background. I may mumble some disapprovals, but it does not mean that I look down upon a person, I am biased against that particular feature or will I ever think that the person is not fit/good enough for good things.

I am not some freaking discriminating, scrutinising Aunt of the Society to do so.

In fact, I accept people for who they are. I try to learn their ways and I try to adopt. Even if I were to start off on the wrong footing or say things which may hurt. I do not mean harm.

I like to analyse how and why people behave the way that they do.

I am sick and tired of people thinking that I am some stuck-up, high-handed bitch who thinks a hell of herself and no one else is good enough for her.

I may be shy and I do not approach guys first if I only just got to know him. I may warm up a little more to a girl.

Other than that, I am just another earthling trying to understand and live this Life by communicating and building good relationships with people.

I try my best. But it does not mean that I will be a suck-up to be trampled upon over and over again.

I am not a feminist in any way and I do not discriminate against men.

I try to be neutral.

Dissecting Word Vomit

Problem at hand:
How does word vomit happen??


Hypothesis:
Word vomit happens when the brain is unaware and under an overdrive of adrenaline mping.


Specimens:
Human being, record of words.


Variable reference:

Manipulated : State of mind

Responding : Words spoken

Constant : Earthling used

Procedure:

1. Make sure that brains are alert.

2. Make specimen talk. See if she suddenly splurges out random words.

3. Repeat for different brain situations.

Results:

When brains are alert - No word vomit

When brains are bimbotic - Lots of word Vomitted

When brains are switched off - Word Vomit unconditionally

When brains are on hyper mode - Even more Word vomit

Conclusion:

Hypothesis accepted. Word vomit happens when brains are not connected. And it includes sarcastic and heart-piercing remarks which were unintentional.

Or So You Think

Hmm... [thinks really hard]

I think. After much consideration, that a simple sentence which exuberates confidence but does not demean anyone in any sense STILL CANNOT TOP the list of an overweening rogue which thinks that girls will lie down on the carpet, WORSHIP him and kiss his feet.

I mean seriously, people are allowed to be confident and feel good about themselves.

Although it turns out to be momentararily shell-shocking to hear the sentence.

But other than that, I'm cool. =D

And so, I used to think that WOE IS ME. [Note, I shall not be equated to the parasital pests in the form of cats in krystyn's house]

Well, not anymore.

Alright. Generally, I'm the cold-ass-bitch who does not show emotions [or doesn't seem to have emotions] or cry.

But I cried yesterday night.

Not because I was emotional. But I was seriously touched by the passion and the perseverance of one man.

We think that we go through a lot of pain.

True. We get hurt by other people's words. We sometimes get a cut.

But can you compare those meagre pain with the agonising pain which feels like you've broken a rib every time when you try to lie down??

Or where once you were able to jump around, get crazy and enjoy rock gigs; only to be reduced to the luxury of only a wheelchair??

Imagine, he was once a good songwriter. His music moved people.

But he is now inflicted with disease. A terminal disease. Blood disease and cancer.

In a way, his world is crushed.

In one week, he lost every fibre of hair on him.

He has all the right in the world to whine and complain.

Or so you think.

Instead, he uses all his might to go around touching people's life, encouraging them.

Even if it is a 7 minutes talk.

He can even joke : If I can break a rib to lie down, why not break a bone and change lives??

I wonder how many of us can have such courage to use our own circumstances to touch other people's lives.

He is not giving up.

And he has been battling his illness for almost 2 years and he is still going strong.

In fact, he wrote the most beautiful song; full of hope, soul and inspiration.

I am moved by his courage, perseverance and boldness.

Who am I compared to him??

p/s: I feel totally guilty for having a 6 hours nap. I'm serious. And I'm feeling sleepy now.

She Thinks

She thinks that good, revolutionary changes are vitally essential.

She thinks that it is most immature for a person to harbour negative feelings towards another person just because of an academic misunderstanding.

She thinks that it is bad enough for an overweening rogue to think that every girl has the hots for him and is dying and drooling all over at his feet.

She personally hates a particular person because that earthling is everything an overweening rogue is.

Now, she knows that none can compare to a single soul saying:

"So, what do you think?? Is it not well done??"

That has just topped her list. [No hard feelings]

She thinks that her mother is furious with her because she has failed to wish her mother "Happy Birthday".

She thinks that her father will be waiting patiently for her at the Taylor's Business School to pick her home.

Her mom thinks that she only walked through a little rain just to get her two lil cakes for her birthday.

Or so she thinks.

She, has to walk through violent winds, thunderstorm, sprays of rain and puddles of water just to get two pathetic pieces of cake for her mother's birthday.

Her skirt is entirely soaked and she is practically having a mini skating-ring in her sandals. Water and leather-surfaced sandals are the worst combination for walking.

Her arms are wet. Her hair is madly tousled and wet from the sprays of rain caused by the unforgiving howling wind.

She thinks that she can fight against the wind; only to have the wind blow off her umbrella, leaving her temporarily "naked" under the sheets of rain; wetting her books, her file, her head, and the flowers made of paper by her helpful friend, Othilia.

She is in a desperate state.

Despite of the chill from the wind, she is sweating from the walkathon she is doing; from Starbucks to TBS to Secret Recipe and back to TBS.

She gets into the car only to be nagged by her father that she should get into the car by 5.30pm to avoid traffic jams.

She thinks that her father will help chip-in for all the stuff that she has bought for her mother.

Nope. It is all an illusional dream which will never materialise... not even in the thinnest of veil of mist.

She thinks that the suggestion of making a hand-made card by her friends is ingenius.

She thinks that her card is hideous. She thinks that she is making rushed-work a habit.

She thinks that she can finish her birthday card for her mother in 30 minutes. She is taking longer than she should.

She thinks that her mother is not going to be very happy this year.

She finds her mother giggling hysterically at the sight of the simple card.

She thinks that her spelling is very good. But she finds typing this post quite a challenge because her little, slightly heated-up forehead is all mixed up from the effing Chaucer's spelling.

She thinks that she might come up with a fever tomorrow. But her immune system is signalling positive signs that she will be as healthy as a cow.

That's right. She thinks. She ONLY thinks.

Not everything will go in the way that she thinks.

Get realistic.

But that does not mean that what she thinks is entirely negligible and is exclusively a pure, classic rubbish.

A Momentarary Lapse

After a moment of reflection, I came up with this.

I think I am suffering from a trio-personality.

Nope. I'm not a hypocrite.

I just seem to behave differently without me realising it.

I'm either
1) super nerdy and serious;
2) super perky and bimbotic or
3) just plain detached, bong, quiet and very lowly self-esteemed.

I cannot recall what I did or said during the moot until now. It's all in a haze.

I cannot seem to fathom how I can be just so crazy sometimes.

And I don't know how I can just laugh out of the blue.

I don't know how I can be so assertive sometimes to the extent of being totally exasperating.

I have been detached at one time.

And I do not know my reason for being detached anymore.

To all those people that I have neglected, have not supported them emotionally when they needed me.

To all those that I've been a totally condescending bitch with.

To all those people whom I have ignored.

To all those people whose feelings I have hurt.

I am sorry.

I tried to be careful and tactful but things always get its way and I become the person that I do not want to be.

I don't blame you if you don't talk to me anymore.

I'm putting the past behind and moving forward whether you are talking to me or not.

Yeah, call me delusional. This is exactly what I'll do.

No point hovering about like a pathetic lost soul desperate for friendship.

I am going to be me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAN!!!

I'm so sorry I cannot be there in person

for your birthday party.

and i'm really sorry I couldn't text you bcos my credit just had to go at the wrong timing

I really wish I could.