Shopping in Sunway Pyramid and An Issue of Sensitivity

Shopping in Sunway Pyramid seriously requires a wheelchair.

My foot is so swollen now, I can practically cry.

The place hardly has anything to buy actually.

Forever 21 is still not opened after what seems like forever.

Oooh. Aldo shoes are AWESOME!!!

I love every single pair of shoes there!!!

But unfortunately, the prices there are really pretty too.

If you are willing to pay about 300 MYR for a pair of shoes, go right ahead in. The shoes are gorgeous. Their accessories too.

I learnt two things during this shopping spree. If I can call it a spree. It is:

1. Never go shopping when you are in a bad mood. Nothing that you see is nice. [That's what happened to me.]

2. It does not matter what you wear when you go shopping. As long as you are comfortable, you won't have to care what are people's perspective of you.

The 2nd one is courtesy of my mom who nagged at me.

Apparently, my mom said that I'm a bimbo. o.O?? Am I??

I only bought 2 pairs of shoes.

My mom got 2 pairs of shoes and a top. [Do you feel the inequity here??]

Anyway, it's not like anyone can be blamed except for my physique.

The clothes that I tried on failed because of my:

1. Broad shoulders
2. Waistline which is full of ghee
3. Porky legs.

My mom told me that I have to slim down to my past glory - until I can fit into this straight-fit jeans that I used to be able to wear.

That jeans is a 25 waist-line, and I am currently a 28.

What does this mean??

I shall have to be 2D.

p/s: I got sick of Joss Stone's I've Got A Right To Be Wrong because of hearing it too many times on this blog.

________________________________________________________

I now know what pisses me off the most.

Being overly sensitive.

I tolerate sensitivity. But with limits. I have a short fuse for it.

Yea, I can make it up to you for a few times, but if you continue going on like that, I don't know what to do/react anymore.

Yes, every earthling has a right of opinions and principles and perceptions.

But it does not mean that you will have to take offence if someone unknowingly rubs you the wrong way by going against/questioning your opinions/principles/perceptions.

It is a question/a statement of enquiring about why you feel that way.

Not to tell you that you are wrong/obtuse/weird.

I accept that everyone has preferences and all. But sometimes, I'm just curious why they have that kind of perception. I like being neutral. Hence, I take whatever you say/how you behave as you are. Even when you spew a whole line of vulgar language at me I'll still accept it.

But just don't be overly-sensitive when I ask something.

Over-sensitivity shows because the person who is overly-sensitive tries to be very happy around other people when they are in fact not.

If you continue to do so, it's fine with me.

I lived for 6 years being ignored in elementary school.

You can say that I am a very numb person.

The amount of emotional turmoil that I go through throughout my life has made me very capable of ignoring my feelings.

Disclaimer: I do not intend to imply this post to anyone reading this blog or hint anything. It's just a let out from me due to some events lately.

It's A Wearisome Wednesday

I woke up late today.

It was kinda jammed today.

I saw my cousin speeding on the federal highway today.

I had to walk really fast because I thought I was late.

I was given the most wonderful article in class. Nominalism.

My slippers snapped.

I had to walk around with stapled slippers.

And I was immensely agitated by some earthling in class today.

Not only was she disinterested, she was putting up an air.

She declined all invitations to work in a group.

She thinks that her priorities are way more important than a moot meeting.

The mooting is in approximately 2 weeks.

And there is only 1 week left for discussions.

What is she doing during the meeting?? Being at the ECA office the whole day.

What do you do in the ECA office??

1. Listen to cool music
2. Play ping pong
3. Play foosball
4. Hang out with people.

This is such a great excuse to be skipping the very first meeting.

No dedication. No commitment.

Then why didn't you just decline??

I am so pissed off with this earthling that my mood was so bad in Starbucks, I was the epitome of a dictator.

And I get easily irritated when I'm in a bad mood.

Eilene just had to be ridiculously vague at that moment.

Today suck so badly, I don't even know how to describe it.

Randomous

I am rather random these days.

I think it's because of the fact that CNY is getting nearer and that means HOLIDAYS!!!

Every single moment of a holiday is very precious.

Hence, the feeling of BLISS and with bliss, comes along RANDOMITY.

Today, my feet were completely BLISTERED.

Seriously.

The new pair of shoes is nice [I like it very much] but very painful.

Why do we always have to pay for the price of beauty?? [and vanity. I mean, look at NP - for the price of vanity Chauntecleer got doped and Pertelote got roasted alive.]

I can hardly walk.

It is such a relieve to find a chair to sit down and forget the pain in my feet.

But when I have to get up to walk, [especially with the shoes on] it is hell to pay.

I walked like some spasticated girl who has metal for legs.

I'm going to wear shoes tomorrow. Proper ones that won't give me pain until these blisters are healed. [Then I'll continue wearing the peep-toe shoes again. Can I get any more stubborn??]

___________________________________________________________

Anyway, the point of this post is to talk about this really out-of-the-blue thing I did.

During Law, I decided to accompany Christine to Asia for her Brunch.

My feet hurt like hell but I went. Thinking that after that the Math people will be going there too.

So after she went off, I continued sitting on the deck.

And the next thing is, this really really LOUD girl came and ask me if they can share my table. [Asia was bustling busy immediately after Christine left.]

Since the Math people won't be out until another hour's time, I agreed.

And boy, were they noisy.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I have reconciled with my CHICKENS.

I'm aspiring to finish drawing the comic from Lines 55 - 680. Call me crazy.

So I was drawing me chickens in AC.

And the next thing was, the girl who asked me if she can share the other half of my table was sitting right in front of me, eating her CHICKEN RICE.

Quite an inspiration to draw my comic.

And then later... she asked:
What are you doing?? It's really nice. Is it like your hobby or something??

Hobby?? HOBBY???

O.M.G.

It's a bloody awesome hobby yo.

Of course I politely answered that it was for Literature.

And they went oooh-ing and aah-ing.

Next, a bunch of guys came [miss talkative's classmates] and they added on to the table.

And they saw my chickens.

The guys were really friendly. They spoke to me as if we were long time friends and they complimented my drawing. Tee hee. [First time in my life because all this while my drawing sucks.]

Hmm. I guess my drawing ain't that bad after all.

Suddenly,
Miss Loud & Talkative: Hey, your name is Deborah right??

Hey!! How did she know??

I was half suspicious of her [*eyes should squint here*], wondering if she was snooping on my paper all this while while she ate her chicken rice and I drew my chickens.

And then I was told that the girl sitting beside her on the other half of the table was from my school. My junior. Carol's friend.

This world is seriously crammed. Not small. But CRAMMED.

I felt bad for the girl because I didn't quite recognise her. It must be rather embarassing for her when Ms Loud & Talkative asked my name directly.

And so, given that they are such a big bunch of people, I dumped my file over to the next table which is unoccupied.

Another ex-MGSian, another junior came and sat at that table.

Ok, I seriously don't like this junior because she thinks a hell of her piano playing when I think that her elder sister is better.

And I can't stand the fact that she loves braggin that she got 2nd for Chopin's International [Asia] Competition. And apparently, from some source of my piano teacher, she was OK only.

I politely told her that I will be occupying half of the table [because it turned out that Math people aren't coming, only Eilene.] So she budged. And I'm happy.

And I packed my stuff and hopped over.

Then, the wonderful Eilene came and announced that we were walking to the DVD store.

So I gave up both tables. And I told Ms Professional Bragger that she can have the table.

She was surprisingly so excited to tell her friends that I'm from her school. I mean, hello?? I thought you hated me?? Probably it was just me who intimidated her while I was still in school. Haha. I tell you, my reputation in school is really a mixture of good and bad.

And I said goodbye to Ms Loud & Talkative and her gang. And I finally remembered that junior on that table. She's the quiet one who was always observing my crazy convos with Carol.

She beamed when I told her I recognised her.

Funny huh?? Made friends randomly during lunch time.

Honestly, I hope that I can sit with them and chat again. It was rather nice. I've never met such friendly people who will open up so easily. Plus, it was fun listening to them. Ok, EAVESDROPPING to be exact.

________________________________________________________

And the Ms Eilene lost her handphone. And freaking out, she used Su Wei's phone to call me.

I was wondering why should Su Wei have a reason to call me??

And I heard Eilene's frantic voice, asking me for help to find her phone. It was 2.20 pm. She was already in the bus.

And so, I had to walk to 3.19 in my geniusly blistered feet. I was half cringing and cursing while I walked.

And the phone was not there. Thank God I told Eilene to ask Noel to check LT8 since his class is immediately after our Econs class.

Then Cindy came and we went to Little Taiwan to eat. The Beef Noodle wasn't bad. Other than that, DO NOT TOUCH.

And Noel called to ask me where I was and to offer help [such a sweet chap]. I felt bad because I was supposed to be looking for Eilene's phone but here am I eating my lunch.

He was so kind to walk to the lost & found centre to enquire for Eilene's phone. [It was 2.59pm already] Tick-tock-tick-tock. We need to race against time.

What kept my spirits positive was the fact that there was still a dial-tone when I called Eilene's phone.

And the last resort: Walk to the DVD store.

It was hell walking there. But it was worth it.

The phone was there.

Thank God the fella kept Eilene's phone for her. If a customer were to have walked in and take the phone before that fella does, we'll have a sobbing Eilene tomorrow.

And that's the good thing about making friends. No matter who they are. [Ok, although my primary aim of making friends with them is so that I get special treatment for my DVDs and all, it was still a friendship]

Today is a series of random stuff. Except for the blistered feet of course. If that were to be random, then I don't know what to do. I surely do not want blistered feet randomly.

But it was a good day. Painful but eventful and great.

I'm off now.

Toodles!!!

p/s: My mommy bought tau foo fah today. *BIG GRIN*

Black. Berserk. Bad Mood

I'm in a bad mood now.

I feel bloated and worthless.

I tried on 4 pairs of shoes just now only to walk away without anything. [Yes, my mom dragged me shopping agan.]

My mom just keeps on choosing those sandals which makes me look like a kiddo.

I am seriously going berserk.

Why isn't there anything good to buy for this year's Chinese New Year?

We're having a fashion drought. Hello?? We need to get this famine over.

You know what's worst??

All the clothes I've bought so far are in dark colours. CNY is supposed to be red!!!

Black. Navy Blue. More Black. Purple.

And the top that I told my mom to get was sold before she could get it.

Not only am I going berserk, my phone and all the clocks/watches that I have are going berserk too.

My phone's battery becomes zero again right after I have charged it.

My laptop desktop clock is showing 12.00 am now, my room wall clock is showing 7.00 am.

And I think I have to get over this psychological thingy.

1. When I'm around tall people, I get agitated when I'm shorter than another girl.

2. When I'm around normal people, I feel that I'm too tall for my own good.

It's either my dad is shrinking in height or I'm seriously growing vertically still.

He seemed shorter today. Then again, it's probably because I'm feeling bloated, hence taller and bigger.

I need to start making the library my second home again. I seriously can't concentrate on anything at all and this pisses me off immensely.

I have a bloody A2 to study for and I gotta repeat my Paper 3!!!

My stomach is not feeling good again.

I am sleepy.

And I can't believe I just gorged my heart out in Starbucks today. One Chocolat Bliss [Which is absolutely blissful. The chocolate wrapping the walnut is just so schmackingly awesome that I almost swooned with delight.] And one Vente Chocolate Cream Frap.

I am so not ordering Choc Frap anymore. I feel bloated. And the bloody chocolate chips keeps on getting stuck in my teeth, making me look worse than the girl in the Dentyne advertisement.

And, I realised that my English language is deteriorating. This sucks. I need to get back on track.
I. Need. To. Get. A. Grip.

The only thing that I feel good about today is that I finished the bloody presentation for tomorrow's literature class.

The thought of a double period tomorrow just puts me off.

Literature. Is. Getting. Boring.

So. Am. I.

My. Very. Little. Sense. Of. Humour. Is. Getting. Zapped. Out. Of. Me. Too.

I am going to take a hot shower and chill out for a bit and then try drawing freaking chickens.

Of New Blood and Carol

At last. We have new blood for tennis players.

I'm talking about Novak Djokovic.

Not only he is hot insane, he is a bloody hot tennis player too!!

He can finally beat Federer aka FedEx (aka Fatass to me). He has been the World No. 1 for so long and it's getting really boring. Ok, I am really biased against him.

And poor Nadal (aka Fatboy) got beaten by Frenchy Tsonga. This is what happens if you get an injury. Nadal, heads up!!!

[The only good thing about Nadal's injury is that he used his recovery time to tone up. He seriously needed it.] That fella puts too much of stress on his legs larr. Of course he'll get an injury.

____________________________________________________

Alright, about Carol.

I know this junior from my school who is 24-7 laughing.

And mind you, her laughter is surely infectious. You'll just laugh at the sight of her laughing.

And she once told me:

"Debble, you know, if I were to die today and if I reflect upon my life before my soul leaves this world, I will only remember....

A series of laughters."

I'm serious. Anytime you see her, she's laughing.

And she's driving me insane now. Not the laughing part.

She asked me to introduce her to fresh new songs to listen to.

Debble : What kind of songs do you like??

Carol : Acoustic. Example, Jason Mraz.

Debble : (scratches head) Ok. You sure don't like Rock. [Which is a problem for me because most of my songs are rock!!] Maybe you can try Jon McLaughlin.

Carol : Ok.

After a while...

Carol : You know, I can't seem to remember Jon McLaughlin's songs after listening to them.

Debble : Well, you'll just have to push your memory power to remember it!!

Carol : Just say that you absolutely LURRRVE Jon McLaughlin.

Debble : His songs are great. His lyrics are meaningful. Remember the lyrics and you'll be able to distinguish his music!!

Carol : You keep on repeating this.

Debble : I sound like a nagging grandma, don't I?

Carol : A nagging penguin. And I don't have to imagine how you'll be like when you really become a grandma.

PENGUIN??? Why penguin??? I don't walk like a penguin!!!

Ok, I was randomly nicknamed by this bunch of juniors penguin because they have been searching for someone to nickname penguin all this while and never found the person.

And I became their victim.

But NAGGING PENGUIN??

I don't know what to say.

Rendered speechless.

Ciplak Punye A

I am currently depressed.

My straight A's?? It's ciplak.

I'm sorry. I know I should be thankful instead of rambling about this.

An A is still an A.

Yes, I'm happy with my results. At least I get to shut my parents up for a bit.

Let them know that although I chill out a lot, I can still do well.

And they need to loosen up a bit and let me have a little more social life.

But still, to know that the A is a weak one and I have to work extremely hard this semester, just puts me off.

I got a B for Paper 1 Econs.

I got a C for Paper 3 Literature.

What. The. Hell.

And my mom does not want to let me retake that paper.

How larr now?? I have to study like orang gila.

I need to conspire with my sis soon to make my mom let me resit. And fast.

The knowledge that I have to work hard to cover up for the Econs' B is also quite a put-off factor.

I know it's my fault that I got a C for Paper 3. Half of my essay for Mansfield were in point forms. And, they were kinda surfacey analysis.

I panicked because I didn't know how to organise my scattered thoughts.

My life sucks.

I seriously need to find a remedy to cut down my long-windedness fast.

Wifi oh Wifi

I seem to be having lots of wifi woes lately.

Why ar??

It's so irritating!!!

My parents are hogging the dinosaur in the hall and also the streamyx. They don't even give me room to use the internet at all!!

They even have the cheek to msg me on MSN. Asking me stuff. If I'm on the dinosaur in the hall, this is what happens.

Dad: Debble, I neeed to send a report out. Haven't been doing the report the whole day.

Fine. It's important.

The next thing is, he is editing my sister's essays. Hence, no internet for another 3 hours.

After dad, mom takes over.

Mom: Debble, I need to talk to your sister regarding the pound and some other important stuff.

Fine. It's important again.

And after asking a few sentences, my mom starts kay-pohing about my sister and her housemates and her post-graduate mates. Urgh.

Which leaves me to my wifi and only my wifi.

And my parents wonder why/nag at me for couping myself up in the room.

Hello!!

I need the wifi to survive. I seriously do.

Speaking about the Internet and the websites that go with it, Ms Marguerite has an issue with posting the notes up early.

And I am so dreading drawing any more chickens or reading Tort.

If I can, I wanna eat and rip as many chickens that I can. I seriously hate drawing chickens!!! The sight of them makes me go mad.

I don't wanna do the Tort essay larr...

How lar how lar??

Why am I so lazy now???

What happened to the gung ho girl??

I cannot afford to go through the trauma that I had with AS Finals.

I. Need. To. Start. Working.

But. My. Brains. And. My. Heart. Are. Not. Cooperating.

Same thing as my wifi is not cooperating with me.

Sometimes, there is not a single wifi to connect to at all.

IRRITATING!!!

Wifi oh wifi, when will you treat me a little better?

Get A Life [Edited]

Some people seriously gotta learn how to get a life.

And getting a life does not mean:

1. Doing drugs
2. Screwing girls
3. Becoming a gay
4. Partying like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan
5. Boozing everyday
6. Doing screamos everyday in some gig
7. Smoking weed
8. Living only for the sake of sports.
9. Go for clubbing every night and neglect wearing knickers
10. Driving at mad speed

It means knowing what your purpose in life is and going for it. Regardless of what people say. And no matter how difficult it is pursuing your dreams.

[Erhemm. It's just a word of thought. Don't shoot me down just yet.]

What do you get out of doing drugs??

Heath Ledger is way too young to die of sleeping pills overdose after being overworked. He is only 28. Imagine how many A Knight's Tale movie he can make some more.

Now, all that is left is his agent and machas getting all his money from the sales of his merchandises and probably his movies.

He gets nothing.

I'm sorry dude. You can't get a life anymore.

I am not a mourny fan who will wail, scream and go bullimic/anorexic just because some star died.

And I'm so not apologising for that.

I think I kinda like being the potong-steam person.

Awating In Agonising Anguish

There can be miracles,
When you believe;
Though hope is frail,
It's hard to kill.

Who knows what miracles,
You can achieve;
When you believe,
Somehow you will.

You will when you believe.

What is faith?

Leaving something entirely into the hands of someone you wholly trust. Believing that person.

Faith. My faith is rising. I have never been so blessed in my entire life.

It truly is a miracle that I did so well for AS.

And I thank God for that.

I had a major breakdown and cried the night before I sat for my Economics paper during the AS Finals.

I knew that I did not prepare well. And I was afraid.

I went out to the hall crying and hugged my mom. Thank God for my mom who is always there to comfort me and to assure me of the greatness that God has done in my life.

Indeed He has proved it again.

Sometimes, I don't deserve what I get. I am lazy. Complacent. Sloppy. Blur. Others who are more deserving should be blessed too and in fact, even more.

The fear of letting others down is strong.

But what matters the most is that you know what you want and what you can do.

Expectations are there to direct you and to drive you to reach your goals. It should be the influencing factor to give you additional pressure.

Hence, I dedicate this song to all lecturers.

It's my mistakes that make me strong. I learnt it the hard way.

Somehow, God is like the one directing how my days should go.

I don't know why, for some reason, I decided to join the Sociology class while waiting for my results.

And the sociology class got the results way later than the Maths people.

It's like He just wants to give me more drama and the suspense so that the surprise will be a pleasant surprise.

Couldn't believe my eyes for a moment.

And I went floating on the clouds. But got shot down immediately.

Earth to Debble. Humility is a key hallmark characteristic.

The agonising wait was worth it after all.

Now I know why my piano teacher is so irritated with my muted expression. Because I potong steam.

Congratulations to everyone. I think our class did extremely well. And thank you for all the congratulations from all you people. Really appreciate it.

Let us all work together and move on with a great lust for an even more promising future.

And close this chapter for a while.

Stupid Wifi

Yesterday, I had a group discussion.

From 8 am it was postponed to 9 am.

And starbucks was not open at 9 am.

So I went to Asia.

Cindy came and she started grumbling bout how dumb her driver, Murad is.

She told him not to open the car door but he dumbly pressed the button just as she said it. And she said: "Murad, close the door!! " and he just dumbly nodded his head and did nothing. The whole world saw her packing her bag in the car.

Cindy said: "I wonder if he understands English sometimes."

So we fired up our laptops. And started aligning our notes.

And I passed her some documents using my pendrive.

The next thing I know is my laptop just keeps on restarting. Turn on. Restart. Before turn on. Restart. Turn on 5 minutes, Restart. You get it.

It was then 9.35 am and still no sign of Mr Dominic Yusoff. We agreed that he probably overslept. Whatmore he didn't reply any of my smses. Turned out that his phone has no credit.

We decided to walk to Cafeteria. And out of the blue from the back we heard Dom's voice.

That same Saturday was July Intake's Parent-Teacher Day.

College was super quiet. It didn't seem like a parent-teacher day. Ours was a bustling busy overpacked bee hive day for Parents-Teacher Day. [I'm getting looney.]

When we got to the cafeteria, both our laptops went crazy. Turn on. Restart. Turn on. Restart.

Cindy said that it was a virus from my pendrive. I said that it was a virus from Eilene's pendrive which transferred to my laptop and to my pendrive.

We got pissed off and went to MPH to see Ms Anne.

Ms Anne started with : "So, Mrs. Deborah, which one is your child??" Erm, it's Cindy.

Pffft.

Then she turned to Cindy. "So, Cindy??"

Cindy: Oh, this is my daughter Deborah and Dominic. [Wait, something is wrong here. Or was it a confusion of Appearance vs. Reality?? *Sniggers Sniggers* I don't get it. Why can't the word Sniggers be shown on cbox?? It's so stupid!!!]

Ms Anne said that our class is quite a good class because we have accepted each other for whatever we are. No matter how different all of us are. And I think it's great too!!! Then she told this whole story about Cindy's previous intake class.

Ms Anne, like us, [or rather like me] just couldn't stop talking. She is just so cute.

Cindy and Dom got up and was ready to go but I knew that Ms Anne wasn't finished. So I continued sitting down. And eventually both of them sat down. And Ms Anne only stopped when a parent came to see the Accounting lecturer sitting beside her.

And Cindy asked me: Why didn't you get up when the both of us got up??

Simple. Because Ms Anne wasn't finished.

So, we went for lunch as advised by Ms Anne. But we did not think about her [I think] even when she told us to because she has to sit in the freezing-cold MPH to wait for another 2 students and not have lunch. Ms Anne only has 3 students for the July intake.

Dom went home for lunch with a BIG packet of Milo swinging in his hands. Cindy couldn't find the small packet one so she bought him the SUPER BIG one.

We ended up watching Desperate Housewives. Desperate Housewives, is just SO AWESOME. Just love the way they are able to change their facial expressions within split seconds.

When I got home, I realised that while we were watching DH and connected to starbucks' wifi, the laptop didn't go crazy restarting and all.

But when we tried connecting to P1 Hot Zone in Asia and at the Cafeteria, it was berserk.

It's that damn wifi which was transferring viruses to our laptops. Stupid thing. I have never hated a wifi with such intensity before. Just this one. I still love all other wifis. Heh. Heh. Heh.

And this is the very long story of a stupid wifi.

When An Obstacle Arises

When the going gets tough, the tough gets crazy.

It happens.

What's the point of working my ass off??

To get good results.

Can life be even more stereotype?

I don't just want to live a mundane life.

I want something extraordinary.

I'm glad that I'm over and done with Chaucer's effing presentations for now.

I don't want to have anything to do with it anymore.

Working so hard and only getting 4 hours of sleep is not worth it.

I don't understand an effing thing about Tort.

I am going to now work my ass off to work in New York next time.

So when an obstacle arises, you first unleash your frustrations, THEN, you face the obstacle in the face and you battle it out.

The world is a combat field.

The toughest survive.

Workload

The workload for this Semester is seriously not giving me a chance to have a LIFE at all.

There's

1. Analyses to be done
2. Visual storyboard to draw
3. Law to catch up on
4. Economics to understand.
5. (And probably AS work to revise on)
6. (If driving lessons can be included here as well. It takes up time)

What a great start of Semester 3.

Although we only have 3 subjects per day, the workload is enough to kill.

Today's Law test was crap.

I didn't study the night before because I did the presentation thingy.

And I didn't wake up at 2 am today.

I slept right until 6 am.

Got up and started frantically cramming Misrepresentation, only to have Mistake come out.

Such joy.

Can life be even more eventful?

I am dreading Monday.

It will be a day of tears or of joy.

I don't know what else to talk about anymore.

Because I don't know how my life can suck even more.

Legal Career Fair

[I'm sorry, but this post is a post of frustration and complaints. The bottle to bottle them all up is sprouting profusely]

I woke up today without any eye bags. You might say "cheers!" or "yay!" but let me tell you, it is not something to be celebrated.

I woke up with two reddish-black rims today.

This is almost like panda bear from hell.

Punishment for neglecting work and staying up to watch 3 movies back to back.

Tulah... very disciplined!!!

Today is a day where I can dress up like a true-bred nun without getting any censures. Partly because we have to dress-up smart-casual and also no one is there to see me. Hah!!

I was like a jakun when I went in to Kiosk to buy bread for breakfast. As usual, I left without taking my bread and the counter people always have to call me back to get my stuff. [Debble, remember that you're no billionaire's daughter to behave like Paris Hilton and splash your money like longkang water]

And the next thing is the agonising and suspensive wait for the others to arrive to get to the Legal Career Fair. I was almost tempted to scream for Ms Marguerite in college to ask if the trip is still on. Thanks Dom and Sam for putting up with my ungodly hour of texting you people. Haha.

I was practically feeding mosquitoes and encouraging them to breed while I was painstakingly, patiently waiting.

And the next thing is I'm surrounded by Reading students and SAM juniors. In a sea of strangers, I did indeed drown. The girl who is supposed to do mooting with me from PB4 was most unfriendly. I wonder how am I going to work with her for the moot. And let me tell you, the KIASU (afraid to lose) side of me is like the very KIASU root of Singapore. In fact, sometimes even the word KIASI (it means afraid of dying) is not enough to describe me, and it is supposedly the superlative of kiasu.

If that part surfaces, God bless all those of you around me with abundant and exceeding patience and tolerance because I can be worst than Hitler.

My very helpful sister conveniently switched off her brains when I called her for help on what to do in the fair. Thank you very much.

Then only did TUC's career guidance facilities people materialise. And passed us this booklet on how to make full use of a career fair.

Haha, "very helpful" when you don't have a computer with you.

They expect us to prepare our CV and fly it around in the career fair. How to fly when you don't even have it in print?? I don't want my CV to be a pathetic piece of scrap paper with scribblings on it. And they expect us to find out bout the background of the firms that we are interested in so that we can ask questions. Pooh. Like I have an internet in my brains. [Partly a punishment for dropping everything and watching movies. Stop watching movies!!! %$!%$#!%$!#%$#]

I went there like a lost cow in a desert when I stepped in the hall. There's this website called http://www.e-lawyer.com.my/ I only remembered because they gave me the most spasticated pen I've ever used. The ink dries out on you when you're halfway writing and will only come back on when you give it a good scribble. Awesome right? Anyway, in this website you can go and fly your CV around. *sniggers sniggers* Start flying it now peeps!!

I have never smiled so much in my entire life. Hence, the thought of going for a botox arises again. Plaster the smile on my face forever so that I don't have to use so much of effort smiling and I don't have to look like such a serious nerdy-nun anymore.

Then again, I don't wanna have something sheepy on my face. [Yes, I have major issues]

Overall, it was a boring fair.

I'm just too lazy to type anything more.

Complaints vs. Frustrations

Question: How does one know how to distinguish between a complain and just a mere let out of frustrations?

I think I've found the answer after a few days pondering on the subject.

A complain is usually one with condemnation about the subject being complained about.

E.g. : Why is this - insert bad word text so unbearable?

That is a complain. It has all the elements of discontentment and it is in every way oozing with hatred.

A phrase of frustration?

It is when you just voice your frustration without condemnation or any added description about the subject.

Eg. : I am just so tired reading this text. [probably this post too]

And I'm glad that I have found the distinction between the two.

Do me a favour??

Let me know when I'm complaining. Yes, do it. Say it right in my face. I can handle it.

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I don't know why, but I just seem to:
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap banyak banyak.

Why arr?? Why??

Sometimes, it's like I just can't shut up!!!

My brain tells me to SHUT UP!! but my mouth just won't.

It's like it has a mind of its own.

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What do you get when you have me and my mom in the kitchen??

Craziness.

My mom will start telling me crazy stuff which is actually true.

And being Mrs. B, she just can't help herself on the topic that she talks and advises best in. [I'm sorry, but I cannot tell you what it is. It's embarassing.]

Then again, besides the craziness, there are also series of supernovas.

I finally revealed the Voir heels to my mom.

When she saw it, she was furious, thinking that I bought it the day before when I was literally dumped at the Jaya Jusco at Bukit Tinggi.

That is episode #1.

Episode #2:
I misplaced some document which is very very vital. Mom's extremely furious, accusing me of being irresponsible and sloppy. And then she went on ranting bout how she absolutely cannot trust me with a credit card, cannot trust me by letting me go to Singapore on my own, cannot trust me to do anything at all. And, she always say that I can't do Law. Reason for me being sloppy and lazy. Pfft.

You know what's ironic? Yet, she still asks me to run lots and lots of errands for her.

Episode #3:
She found this whole stack of storybooks that Eilene lent me. My mom went purple again, thinking that I bought those books. Bloody hell. I don't have so much of money. I would rather spend it on clothes and DVDs!!

There was almost another episode #4, when I wore the quite-short skirt.

I'm so glad she went to pasar malam and did not see me in the skirt at all. When I reached home, I dashed into the room to quickly change in case she suddenly decides to quit the pasar malam early.

Oh, and I'm so glad that my dad did not turn to the pasar malam to help her carry stuffs. I'm so glad that I kept on telling him that she'll be home by the time we're home.

Strangely, my dad seems to be fine with me wearing that skirt. But when I bent down a little in Carrefoure, he was on the verge of a hysteria. Haha. Sorry paps! But I can take care of myself very well.

Probably it is pre-destined by God that my mom should grow impatient and run off to the pasar malam on her own to avoid a super SUPER nova at home and hence, exterminate all chances of me going to Singapore.

Seriously, I don't get it. Why does she always think that I'm such a super bad daughter who doesn't know any limit and cannot control myself?? I know what's right and wrong. I'm old enough to rationalise for myself.

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It's really hard to try to suppress my hunger pangs.

I have finally surrendered to the fact that I am actually almost too tall for my own good.

Look around, I'm almost taller than most people.

And Malaysia being in the Asian continent, there are not that many tall people. They are very limited.

My mom told me that I have to stop having sudden urges to gorge on food.

Food = extra energy + extra protein = the possibility of growing taller.

So, I've decided to cut lunch when I'm in college but have quite a heavy breakfast.

Yesterday, did not quite work out for me.

Yea, I only have Iced Milo for lunch, but when I went home, I was starving crazy.

And I verbally told my dad that how I wish that my mom will come home with blessings of tau fu fahs.

And I was blessed more than that.

I got this awesomely delicious Korean dumpling. [It seems to be the only thing that I like from the Koreans.]

And... and... a super big packet of tau fu fah.

It was pure bliss.

But the problem is, I ate so much of tau fu fahs [2 bowls to be exact] that my stomach was so bloated and I just felt like puking when my mom made me drink the soya bean.

Inilah Hikayat Debble.

When I starve, I am starved crazy and when I gorge, I gorge till my stomach threatens to explode.

Next lesson to be learnt:
MODERATION

P/S: So sorry for not blogging for quite some time. My internet at home is a complete cracko. [And yes, Dom, I do wish I can smash the dinosaurs and the streamyx modem, but I shall have to abstain to avoid my mom breathing down my neck.]

Past, Present, Future

2007 has been:

1. Hectic and at the same time sloppy. Or at least I have been extremely sloppy.
2. Quite fun. Meeting all sorts of different people and the best part is nobody knows about your past and no one judges you because of your past reputation or record.
3. Delusional. I have strayed, lost focus and just plain delusional.
4. Very fluctuative. One minute, I love A Levels, the next, I hate it with all my heart.
5. Quite good. For a record, I actually do my homeworks. Most of them anyway compared to the rare moments of me doing my homework in school.
6. Lonesome. I am surrounded by people that I care about, but somehow, I still feel lonely.
7. Perky. I'm usually only crazy at home, but somehow, this year, it actually surfaced to my life outside my home.
8. Challenging. I realise that I'm always in a situation of wrecking my brains to come up with something extraordinary. Unfortunately, it is not always appreciated because apparently it is not needed. Wasted quite a lot of brain cells there. It's not like anyone appreciates it and lecturers sometimes think that I am showing off. I wasn't trying to. I thought this is what college is about: being outstanding and try to be as intellectual as possible to succeed.
9. Too exam-orientated. I admit, my learning now is a little exam orientated. I only study when I'm required to whereas in school, I study for my own information because you will never get any from teachers.
10. Overall, great. Have great friends who actually understand my sense of dry and extremely sarcastic even to an extent insulting humour. Some people just don't get it.

This year... which is 2008 [Dammit!!] I resolute to...

1. Work my ass off. This includes sacrificing my telly and probably shopping sprees.
2. Get all A's for my A Levels and truly work for it.
3. Be more hardworking and serious.
4. Be more of myself and less of the person that the society wants me to be. That means, my mood will be constantly fluctuating. I believe there's 2 sides of every person. I shall further elaborate this later on.
5. Be in more control of my own things.
6. Make myself SKINNY. Yes, I so resolute to do this because I am seriously very SICK of not being able to fit into clothes that I wanna buy.
7. Read more books.
8. Save more money to buy stuff that I want and won't get from my mom and spoil myself sometimes.
9. Stop being a glutton. Sigh. After today I mean. Just gorged on a lot of food for lunch just now. Stop eating so much and stop being so greedy!!!
10. Be more humble and less of a perfectionist on others.
11. Get a new phone. Especially once I've got my job for the gap year.

The further elaboration of #4:

The usual side that people think me to be is the serious, boring, taciturn nerd of a nun who has no sense of dressing and lives like a zombie. And apparently, extremely intellectual, a complete perfectionist and prideful.

The other side is the crazy person who is always locked up inside due to being afraid that I will actually scare people with my sudden bizarre behaviour. The other side is also outgoing, cheerful and friendly.

The crazy side is often forced to recede.

I shall be more realistic with myself from now on. Even if it means having the occasional very strong-willed and headstrong person surfacing.

So please, don't misunderstand if I'm a little too quiet sometimes. When I'm quiet it usually means that I'm serious and down-to-business.

Oh, and most of the time, people think that I often astral myself to Pluto and they always say: "Earth to you!! Come back from Pluto, stop dreaming/staring off into Spain!!". I'm not. I'm usually in deep thought. I'll tell you that now whether you accept it or not. And I intend to do that a lot this year because I have been playing too much last year that I screwed up a lot of things. And I suspect, my AS results.

My resolution for the future:

1. Be successful and earn lotsa moolahs and kahchings to the extent that I can buy anything I want without blinking or thinking twice. And that means a beautiful beautiful house with a beautiful garden and a grand piano with glass sliding doors and the wind blowing in. Oh, and whatever techy stuff I want.
2. Own a beautiful car. Even if it means taking the public transportation everyday for 3 years once I start working.
3. Do extremely well in everything that I do.

Alright now. Enough of blogging. I'm gonna go and do Contract now and find materials.

Yes, I finally opened my contract book and Chaucer.

It's really hell of a great time trying to read/understand wth Chaucer is writing.

But I like the slang tho. It's hilarious.

Toodles. [To the person who thinks that this is a nickname for me, it is not. It means Goodbye for crying out loud.]