Down

I feel like I'm drowning in a pit of shit.

Chants of "ifs" keep replaying in my mind.

If only I didn't drive the car and have let mom driven it. I had this tugging not to drive. I wasn't confident. But I went ahead.

To prove myself wrong and to build my own self-absorbed confidence.

I should have listened to my sixth sense.

Then the car would not have been knocked by that damn irresponsible cowardly bitch who ran off after I honked her for about 10 seconds.

I should have driven the car forward. Or maybe, I shouldn't have reversed it in the first place just because my mom said I should.

A feeling of morose regret keeps tugging, plucking the discordant cord of my soul.

I am gravely disturbed.

What if we can't find that damned girl? What if the car number plate which I saw was wrong?? I didn't quite manage to catch the 2nd digit. It fell on the blindspot.

Why am I so damn darn incompetent?

I tried so hard to shake off this feeling of regret. I tried to divert my attention. I tried to laugh it off. I tried to cover it up with anger and being obsessively authoritative when I made my complain to the respective college that she is studying in; demanding that they help me find her.

It's still there.

That damned, hovering shadow of the emotion which burns through your soul with unseen, unforgiving fiery eyes.

As long as that damage is still on the car, as long as I have not found that bitch, as long as I have not repaired the car, I don't know if I can bring myself out of this pit.

Joseph fell into the pit only to be molded into something greater.

Will this experience of mine be the same?