The Truth

Alright. Let me tell you the truth.

The truth is, once upon a time, I used to speak perfect Mandarin.

But somehow, life has led me to hate the obstinate Chinese traditions.

Hence, I tried erasing all traditional elements in me.

I eventually succeeded. I can't even order chinese tea in mandarin now.

Call me a traitor, someone who forgets one's origins, but you cannot blame me.

Because traditional Chinese ways has led my life into a total mess.

With all the stupid protocols and proceedings. Some of them are absolutely not needed in this modern setting. Like the importance of having a son in the family. Ah, Fuck Off!!

My life is a complete shitty experience.

I hate attending, being there for weddings and funerals, especially from my dad's side because they are totally traditional.

Because there will be a scene, an embedded bad memory and a scar in the soul every time I attend these stupid ceremonies.

I hate looking forward to Chinese auspicious days, I hate following the superstitions and I hate being censured for being different.

And I absolutely hate how some traditional Chinese people behave.

And the one thing that I ultimately hate the most.

My Chinese Name.

If you were to know what I go through with all these stupid traditional chinese ways, you will not blame me for behaving like this and you will join me.

I may be trying to erase my identity. But what I really want is a change, a leap away from the ordinary traditional ways.

Yes, I am very rebellious.

And yes, I am extremely emo lately.